My 2016.

HAPPY NEW YEARS EVE! What a crazy, exciting time of year and I can't even believe the beginning of January is about to hit us!

For someone in my shoes, the months of October to December are nuts. I say "in my shoes" because I'm a Canadian who married an American and is living in America. Therefore, in October Jarryd and I celebrate Canadian Thanksgiving, in November we celebrate American Thanksgiving, in December we celebrate Christmas, and now we celebrate New Years Eve/Day! There are four major holidays all within the span of three months for us! (Thank goodness Christmas is the only holiday where gift-giving is expected, or else we'd be sooo broke!)

Last night in the car, Jarryd and I were just talking about how great of a year 2016 was for us. Thankfully, and I say this with a truly grateful heart, nothing drastic or tragic occurred in our lives. (Thank you, God!) We both conquered some things we wanted to conquer, and accomplished things we never even dreamed we'd accomplish. But, there's also things we wish we would have done more of, or wish we would have done less of. Obviously our lives aren't perfect and therefore our year wasn't perfect. But overall, despite how exhausting and busy the year may have been for us, 2016 really was a good year.

The Lion & The Lamb.

"Our God is the Lion, the Lion of Judah,

He's roaring with power and fighting our battles;

And every knee will bow before You.

Our God is the Lamb, the Lamb that was slain,

For the sin of the world, His blood breaks the chains,

And every knee will bow before the Lion and the Lamb."

This SONG by Big Daddy Weave is amazing, you guys! As a way to conquer some of the negativity in my life I've devoted most of my commutes to and from work to listening to K-LOVE Radio. If you've never heard of it, it's only thee best Christian radio station, ever. And if you don't get it on your radio where you live, you can actually listen online HERE. {They also share awesome stories of people doing random acts of kindness and just helping others; it's so refreshing to hear GOOD things in the news, you know?}

This song very much overwhelms my soul and emotions with awe and gratefulness. I'm in awe of such an incredible God, He's a God who is BOTH a selfless and gentle lamb, and a fierce powerful lion. He came into this world, born in a stable. The most humble of beginnings I would say!
That's just one thing that separates Jesus Christ from other gods and religions; He spent His life serving others and was never on a pursuit of fame, earthly success, or money. His pursuit was servanthood, to love others, to glorify His Father in Heaven, and of course what encompasses the former three: to be the world's salvation!

And I'm just grateful that a God like that loves me and that's he's fighting my battles {like the song says}. To say that I'm GRATEFUL for the Saviour of the world fighting my battles, is such an understatement! Gahhh! How else can I put it though?! No words will ever do it justice! <3

Everytime I listen to this song it just makes me want to know my Lord and Saviour better. He gave everything so that He could know me, so why shouldn't I be doing the same?

How You Made Them Feel.

"She said, 'i've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've learned that everyday you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned that I still have alot to learn. I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.'"

{Maya Angelou}

I love that quote so much because of its' incredible truth. I always remember how people made me feel. I'll always remember how disheartened someone left me feeling, and I'll always remember how safe another person left me feeling. I'll always remember the person whom after spending the day with, left me feeling encouraged within my circumstances, inspired to love more, and thankful to Jesus for the people he's placed in my life. {I can't even count on my hands the number of loved ones in my life who make me feel this way! They're such blessings to me!}

And then...there's the people whom after spending time with, leave me feeling unsettled, exhausted, discouraged, sad, and disappointed. They're the kind of people you dread to see again. It's especially a battle for me because my INFJ personality, I'm like a sponge! I soak up the emotions around me, including every ounce of negative emotion. {Let's just say my dreams of becoming a therapist/counsellor didn't last long--I would have come home from work everyday an emotional basketcase!!} I often wish I could just be one of the people who simply brushes off the negative comments or vibes as if they never happened, someone with impermeable walls. BUT that's the thing with putting up walls, sure you block out the negative stuff, but you also then block out the positive stuff too!

The other day I did something dumb...I looked to the internet for emotional guidance {haha!}. I asked google something along the lines of "how to block other people's negative energy" and I got some hooey-phooey err...interesting advice about envisioning your brain as a house with four walls lifting your roof open to positive vibes only. {If that kind of stuff works for you, that is great...but for me personally, I think I'll run to Jesus for this instead}.

Back to the topic at hand, I wonder how I make people feel. Do people feel happy when they're with me? Do I leave them feeling encouraged, warm, and hopeful? {<---If not, then that's my goal!}

I struggle with the fear that I don't love people enough or that I'm not thoughtful enough. I'm afraid that I don't say enough and yet I'm afraid that sometimes I may say too much.
It's frustrating when I try so hard to show love and kindness to those around me and it isn't reciprocated. For instance, my work is a very busy place and we see hundreds of faces a day. I try to say "hello" and acknowledge every person I encounter. But when somebody doesn't even say anything back, it actually irritates me and causes me to stop saying the first "hello" to anyone after that. And then I get hit with a wave of guilt for not reaching out to others because what if somebody I walked right past was having a really bad day, or was feeling especially invisible or unloved that day? For some, a simple "hello" can mean the world to them. {I know there are moments for me when it really brightens my day!}

I hate when I have such a bad attitude going on in my mind that it manages to leak out to those least suspecting; I never want to be caught with snippy one-liners but it gets the best of me every now and then, unfortunately.

I think I spend so much energy trying to be "a light" for others {the kind of light that points people to Jesus} that I forget about the One who I'm doing it for, the one true light.

"Then Jesus spoke again to them, saying 'I am the Light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life". {John 8:12}

July Joy.

Wow. Hello my long lost friend--my blog!! I have missed you.

It's currently the 9th of July and things are finally starting to slow down...for the most part.

When I started my new full-time job back at the beginning of February, it was also the time when Jarryd and I had been going to a new church for a little over a month and were both trying to get plugged in there.

Jarryd joined a Bible study group, and I ended up joining TWO. I know that probably doesn't sound that crazy to you, but these Bible studies each had thick books {aside from The Bible} that we were working through--this meant lots and lots of homework. So all the while I was adjusting to a new job and new schedule, I was dedicating most of my time to my new groups. Each group meeting was between 2-3 hours a week, plus when you add all of the in-depth heart-wrenching deep-digging homework to, that takes up alot of time.

But guess what? All of our groups have come to an end! It's bittersweet because we met some pretty great people through it and it's unfortunate not being able to see them on a regular basis now. But we have SOOOO much time now. ...Well, I wouldn't say SOOOO much time, but in comparison to what we used to have, we definitely do!

I'm excited! Having free evenings and weekends again means that I can focus more attention to my baking. AND BLOGGING because blogging is one of my favourite things to do! Hee hee!

I just want to learn anything and everything in the realm of baking! I am following some pretty talented baker accounts on Instagram and it's nothing short of inspiring! Although at the same time when I see their edible works of art and I just feel instantly intimidated. WOW. I can't believe I thought my creations were even semi good--because these are just flawless! Apparently I stink. <<--{These are called bad thoughts! Don't try this at home!}

I'm just being real, yo. {Yo? Really, Jennifer?} I have moments where I lose all motivation to be in the kitchen. When I assess the situation I realize that this loss of motivation stems from either a really dirty kitchen {DISHES EVERYWHERE GAH}, lack of sleep, or lack of introvert/alone time. {Ahhh gotta love that coveted introvert time...} Once those vital three are taken care of, then I get these beautiful little bursts of enthusiasm to bake and try and fail and cry and then try again! It's a wonderful cycle.

So yeah, to be honest {a.k.a "real, yo"} I'm pretty pleased with life right now. And it's only only ONLY because I have learned where to find my true joy. JESUS! Life is so much better when you strive to keep your focus on eternity and not on the things directly around you. If my joy and attitude depended on the people around me, I would be such a miserable person. In my opinion, there's enough negativity in this world and Jesus is my answer to my question of "how do I rise above it all?".

I'm not sure at all where I was going with this blog post. Perhaps I just wanted to give an update on my life currently? Yes, let's go with that. :)

It's been a great Saturday. I've been baking and cooking all afternoon so, that's pretty self-explanatory. Plus, I've gotten some much needed introvert time. Not as much as I'd prefer, but just enough to get me through. :P

Hello Weekend--A Recap Of My Week.

Hello blog and friends! I've missed you so. I just completed my very first week--of full-time, Monday to Friday--at my new job. And wow-wee, by Friday afternoon I was T I R E D.

I have felt all sorts of disoriented since I signed onto this new job. My normal routine of using my midweek mornings and afternoons to do laundry, baking/cooking, cleaning, and BLOGGING have totally disappeared. :'(

The beauty of part-time work is that you have soooo much time to conquer to-do lists and endulge in endless hobbies. But the downside of part-time work is a substantial drop in income (of course), and in my former case, sporadic hours of work throughout the whole week (including weekends).

With this full-time job, by the time I get home at 3 pm I have to get dinner rolling. Then when the hubs gets home an hour later, the rest of the evening is history! (Can anyone tell me how weekday evenings seem to fly by so quickly? Is it because I'm continuously checking the clock, counting down the hours before I have to go to bed obnoxiously early?)

In regards to blogging/writing, I have always found it easier to do so when I am alone and my surroundings are quiet. But you know what? I think with my alone-time cut down to practically non-existent, I need to force myself to write even when I'm not in "introverted mode". Does that makes sense? :)

Today, (Saturday), we woke up to see the apartment in shambles. The natural bright light of the morning really reveals everything, doesn't it? Laundry piles all over the floor...dirty dishes all over the kitchen island...garbage can overflowing...and clutter everywhere. It's the WORST waking up to a messy home. At least to me it is. We then spent the morning getting the laundry done, picking things up, and running the dishwasher. I feel like this is the worst way to spend a Saturday morning. Blech.

I'm just excited to adjust to this new work schedule and get my weekly routine down. I have to remind myself that the apartment isn't always going to be this messy and I'm not always going to be this tired. I just haven't found my groove yet, you know? In time, in time. :)

So I'm sure y'all are dying to hear about my past week--the suspense is killing you, right?! Haha jokes. I have myself a wide open Saturday afternoon so I finally have time to write a recap of my week. Here goes!

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Jarryd and I attended a conference for our church last Saturday. It was a morning filled with time to get to know the pastors/elders from the churches different campuses, spiritual gift assessments, and--my favourite activity--personality profiles! By learning these things about myself, I'm able to see where I'd best be suited to serve in the church. We did the DISC personality profiles and I was HANDS DOWN an "S", also know as "Steadiness", also known as a golden retriever. :P

^ I mean, look at that! This is totally me. The highest you can score per section is 25 and my "S" was 25. Can any of you guys relate to this??

Jarryd of course was a "D" for "Dominance". I could have done his quiz for him, and he for me. ;)

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This Tuesday was the start of my very first women's "Freedom Group" meeting, and it was awesome. Not just the ladies that I met, not just the content that we dug into...but the timing of it all.

I honestly had such a bad day that day. I definitely won't get into it on my blog, but emotionally I was a wreck. I cried the whole car ride home from work, I cried during my shower, and I cried telling Jarryd about it later. I was tempted to skip the Freedom Group all together, seeing as I wasn't in the "mood" for it. But I pushed that low-life temptation aside and arrived, happy to be there!

And, it was great. It was all about Jesus. JESUS. It's like because I had forgotten about Jesus, all of my problems seemed so much bigger than they actually were.

We touched on Romans 5:8, a verse that even now I can't seem to get out of my head.

"But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us".

Not after we had sinned and asked for forgiveness, but WHILE we were sinning; in the midst of our sinning He loved us and died on the cross for us. While we were mocking Him and spitting on Him, He died for us!

We took that verse to an interpersonal level and asked ourselves, "is this how we react to those who are hurting us? Do we show love to them while they are hurting us? Or do we wait until they beg for our forgiveness?" Wow. Talk about a wake up call. I realized then and there that I need Jesus so badly. I need His strength to help me love those who hurt me and I need His eyes to show me the bigger picture; to see the world through not through my narrow view, but through His vast perspective. 

This meeting was exactly what I needed because it renewed my mind for the week (and hopefully for the rest of my life)! I no longer felt hopeless and defeated, but I felt refreshed and joyful. I for real woke up the next morning incredibly happy! (Happy at 5 am, impossible! Not anymore!) God is so good. Because of Him, I didn't let anything negative get to me; He kept my spirits high.

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As for work, overall it has been good! My first full week has been a success. I have definitely gotten the hang of things and have even stepped outside of my comfort zone. The job is not perfect, it's not my dream job, but in all honesty I prefer it to my old job. (Which is a HUGE relief!!)

The food shown above is just one of the perks of working in a cafe. I get to try new food and drinks! And when I say drinks, I mean Starbucks Frappucinos. At least once a day...sometimes even twice. Hehe!

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My morning and afternoon commutes have been filled with Bethel Music's album "You Make Me Brave". Oh. my. If you don't have this album, I highly recommend it. I can't stop listening to it. It brings me so much joy. It's my daily reminder of why I'm on this earth and who I'm living for: Jesus.

The song "Forever" by Kari Jobe always moves me and brings me to tears. (It also sounds SO good cranked up in the car!)

The moon and stars they wept
The morning sun was dead
The Saviour of the world was fallen
His body on the cross
His blood poured out for us
The weight of every curse upon him

One final breath he gave
As heaven looked away
The son of God was laid in darkness
A battle in the grave
The war on death was waged
The power of hell forever broken

The ground began to shake
The stone was rolled away
His perfect love could not be overcome
Now death where is your sting?
Our resurrected King
Has rendered you defeated

Forever he is glorified
Forever he is lifted high
Forever he is risen
He is alive, He is alive!

We sing hallelujah
We sing hallelujah
We sing hallelujah
The Lamb has overcome

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By the time Friday afternoon came around, I was too tired to do anything. Well, anything other than watch the first season of "Fuller House". (!!!) You guys, I was so impressed! It's JUST as funny as "Full House" was, and the little jabs at Marykate and Ashley Olsen are priceless. I am 2 episodes away from completing the whole season, and then I am going to watch it all over again. That's how much I love it!

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So that was my week. To sum it all up, it was a rollercoaster of a week, filled with bad emotions, good emotions, JESUS, early bedtimes, great worship music, adjusting to the new normal, Freedom Group, sleeping in this morning, Fuller House, and the TV show Kitchen Nightmares. All I'm gonna say is that watching Gordon Ramsay throw up into a trash can was the cherry on top of an interesting week. ;)

ALSO, at the grocery store we decided to pick up a pineapple. I couldn't help but think that pineapples are one of the most beautiful and interesting fruits! Seriously! It's so unique looking. I have now decided that this is going to be my next drawing project:

Yippeee! I can't wait to get started on it! :)

Thanks for reading, everyone. I really appreciate all of the feedback and advice. :) <3

Gathering in Prayer.

Jarryd and I went to an evening worship service that our--new--church has on the first Wednesday of every month. As it was our first time, we really didn't know what to expect. Would there be solely worship? Or testimonies? A sermon, perhaps? People falling on the floor being healed and shouting in tongues (hehe...)?

There was quite a large turn-out of people which is always nice to have! First it started with some worship, followed by a sermon/Bible study with a guest speaker, and then finished with communion. ALSO here's a fun fact for you! The typical communion "juice and crackers" came in individually pre-packaged cups (the juice and cracker are separated of course). I had no idea this was even a thing! Look it up online, it's quite something. So modern...

Anyway, the Bible study was all about Peters' (one of Jesus' disciples) miraculous escape from prison, found in the book of Acts. I had heard this story before, but for some reason I forgot all about it. This account absolutely intrigues me!

It was about this time that King Herod arrested some who belonged to the church, intending to persecute them. He had James, the brother of John, put to death with the sword. When he saw that this met with approval among the Jews, he proceeded to seize Peter also. This happened during the Festival of Unleavened Bread. After arresting him, he put him in prison, handing him over to be guarded by four squads of four soldiers each. Herod intended to bring him out for public trial after the Passover.

So Peter was kept in prison, but the church was earnestly praying to God for him.

The night before Herod was to bring him to trial, Peter was sleeping between two soldiers, bound with two chains, and sentries stood guard at the entrance. Suddenly an angel of the Lord appeared and a light shone in the cell. He struck Peter on the side and woke him up. “Quick, get up!” he said, and the chains fell off Peter’s wrists.

Then the angel said to him, “Put on your clothes and sandals.” And Peter did so. “Wrap your cloak around you and follow me,” the angel told him. Peter followed him out of the prison, but he had no idea that what the angel was doing was really happening; he thought he was seeing a vision. They passed the first and second guards and came to the iron gate leading to the city. It opened for them by itself, and they went through it. When they had walked the length of one street, suddenly the angel left him.

Then Peter came to himself and said, “Now I know without a doubt that the Lord has sent his angel and rescued me from Herod’s clutches and from everything the Jewish people were hoping would happen.”

When this had dawned on him, he went to the house of Mary the mother of John, also called Mark, where many people had gathered and were praying. Peter knocked at the outer entrance, and a servant named Rhoda came to answer the door. When she recognized Peter’s voice, she was so overjoyed she ran back without opening it and exclaimed, “Peter is at the door!”

“You’re out of your mind,” they told her. When she kept insisting that it was so, they said, “It must be his angel.”

But Peter kept on knocking, and when they opened the door and saw him, they were astonished. Peter motioned with his hand for them to be quiet and described how the Lord had brought him out of prison. “Tell James and the other brothers and sisters about this,” he said, and then he left for another place.

In the morning, there was no small commotion among the soldiers as to what had become of Peter.
{Acts 12:1-18}

Isn't that story amazing? How God let Peter slip past two guards completely unnoticed is just incredible and truly divine. But the main focus of the Bible study are the two verses that I underlined above. MANY people were at Mary's house and were gathered to pray for Peter.

It just goes to show that when we pray to a BIG God, BIG things can/will happen.

I wish I could write how I'm a part of an awesome group of believers who meet consistently to pray. I wish I were a part of something like that. But truthfully, I'm not. Which of course isn't horrible in God's eyes, because He tells us in 1 Thessalonians 5:17 that we should "pray continually", pray without ceasing. Pray anywhere and anytime! And it especially doesn't matter if you're in a group or by yourself. But there is something extraordinary when Christians get together and share their hearts and ask for prayer from one another. There's nothing like fellowship among believers.

Again, I don't have that. But now that I'm a part of this new church, there are opportunities to join some groups that are starting next week! This is something I've really been praying for and I just hope that God provides for me a group that I can flourish in, and maybe help others to flourish in as well? :)

One thing that totally made our evening, was after the service, a guy came up to us and just started chatting with us. We had no idea who he was and he had no idea who we were. He just saw two unfamiliar faces and made initiative to welcome us. We ended up talking with him for probably over half an hour, and eventually other church members/his friends approached and he introduced us to them. Before we knew it we were all having great conversation with people we'd never met. These people were truly interested in who Jarryd and I were and SO excited that we were at their church with them!

Do you know how nice that is?! Have you ever visited a new church and not know a single face?
Most churches I have been to, it is YOUR job to make the first move to get involved in the church and meet new people or else you're doomed. This can be so scary and overwhelming (at least for an introverted personality like mine). It was so wonderful to not have to make the first move. It was so relieving to be approached, to be noticed and to feel welcomed. Gahh! I just can't get over how much I appreciate that. I hope that I can be that warm and welcoming of a person to everyone I meet!

Jehovah Jireh: The Lord Will Provide.

I attend a Bible study at church where we are studying "The Names of God". Despite how large the church is, there is only a few of us women who gather every Wednesday evening. This group is small, like I'm talking 3 or 4 women a week! It does disappoint me how small the turn out is, because they are seriously missing out on an amazing study! But I guess a more intimate group suits my learning style better anyway. A smaller group makes it easier to ask questions and have your questions be answered in a more detailed way.

Lately we have been focusing on the Old Testament which is awesome and it is even more awesome that I even think reading the Old Testament is awesome because: I have a huge confession to make! Up until I was 19 years old I actually thought the Old Testament was irrelevant. I simply didn't think it applied to my life at all. MY life? How selfish does that sound?

And apparently I completely disregarded the verse in the NEW Testament that says "ALL Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness..." (1 Timothy 3:16), even and especially the Old Testament! I was SOOO very wrong!
One of the things that makes me appreciate the Old Testament so much is the fact that it has Jesus written all over it. And Jesus means everything because He is the whole reason for my salvation!

So, anyway! The Bible is filled with several names of God all meaning different things. The name of God that we studied this last week was "Jehovah Jireh" which means "God will see to it" -> Seeing -> Provision -> Providing -> "The Lord Will Provide". This name is found in Genesis 22 the story of God testing Abraham.

I encourage you to read this story! I even provided a link for you: HERE! :)

Genesis 22 contains four amazing references that connect the Old and New Testament all through Jesus Christ!

Firstly, God asked Abraham "take your son, your ONLY son, whom you love--Isaac--and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on a mountain I will show you".
Sacrifice your ONLY son...sounds familiar, doesn't it?
"For God so loved the world that He gave His one and ONLY son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life". (John 3:16). God sacrificed His only Son Jesus on the cross to pay for our sins.

Secondly, on Mount Moriah where this sacrifice was about to take place, is where Solomon later built the temple. In this temple was a place where many lambs were sacrificed. Who was also referred to as a lamb? Jesus was! John 1:29 states "the next day he saw Jesus coming to him and said, 'behold the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world'"!

Thirdly, as Abraham and Isaac were preparing to go up the mountain together, Genesis 22:6 tells us that "Abraham took the wood for the burnt offering and placed it on his son Isaac...".
Carrying wood...that sounds familiar as well. Of course! John 19:17 says "They took Jesus, therefore, and He went out bearing his own cross, to the place called Place of the Skull, which is called in Hebrew Golgotha". Jesus and Isaac both carried their own "crosses" to the place of their sacrifice.

Fourthly, as Abraham reached for his knife and was about to kill Isaac, the Lord told him to stop and not lay a hand on the boy. "Abraham looked up and there in the thicket he saw a ram caught by its horns. He went over and took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering instead of his son" (Genesis 22:13). A thicket is a dense growth of trees, shrubs and bushes, usually cluttered with thorns and thistles. The rams' head was caught in these thorns. Before Jesus was crucified on the cross, "the soldiers twisted together a crown of thorns and put it on His head..." (John 19:2).
The ram caught in the thorns that God provided to Abraham then took the place of Isaac and was sacrificed; Jesus wearing a crown of thorns was sacrificed.

Realizing the prophetic language in Genesis 22 was such a revelation to me. I had heard the story many times in my life but this time it was like a whole new story. Before I had always found it so insane that God would ask Abraham to sacrifice his only son! But the story isn't so insane after all when I saw how much it applied to my own life and the nature and promises of God.

God was testing Abraham to see if he loved God just for who He was, not just because God had blessed him with things. Just like how I want my husband, my family and friends to love me for who I am as a person and because I love them! Not because I do favours for them or buy them gifts, ect.,

God wanted Abraham to show his complete obedience. Just as a parent who wants the BEST for their children, disciplines their children and desires for their obedience, should we as children of God obey Him! James 1:23-25 states that "anyone who listens to the Word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in the mirror, and after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it--not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it--they will be blessed in what they do".

So God asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac. With Abraham leading Isaac up onto the mountain, laying him down on the altar, binding him, and reaching for his knife to kill Isaac...with all of these things, Abraham had already emotionally sacrificed Isaac. He didn't physically sacrifice him of course, but in his mind he had already given Isaac to God. It was like Isaac had already died.
"By faith Abraham, when God tested him, offered Isaac as a sacrifice. He who had embraced the promises was about to sacrifice his one and only son, even though God had said to him, 'it is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned'. Abraham reasoned that God could even raise the dead, so in a manner of speaking he did receive Isaac back from death". (Hebrews 11:17-19)

For loving, worshiping, and obeying God, Abraham was SO blessed. He was blessed in a way that God saw was good. (Something we need to remember is our version of a "blessing" such as perfect health and stable finances, isn't nearly as amazing as what God sees as a blessing).
Something really cool that I just picked up on was in Genesis 22:20-23, Abraham is told that Bethuel was born and "Bethuel became the father of Rebekah". Who is Rebekah?? She was the future wife of Isaac. So after Abraham obeyed God, he was blessed in the way that his son's future wife was being raised and cared for. Now that is another thing to remember. God is blessing us in ways that we cannot even see right now. We really have no idea what God is orchestrating for us.

So this ended up being a longer blog post than I intended. I guess I just got so excited I couldn't stop! I can only hope that something stuck out to you here or maybe you learned something or was reminded of something! I hope that this Bible study amazed you as much as it amazed me!

I'm going to share a list of practical steps that my Bible study leader shared with me:
1. Practice immediate obedience
2. Learn to trust Him to be fully consistent with His nature.
3. Believe that He is Jehovah Jireh, the God who provides.
4. Place that which is most cherished in your life on the altar, and surrender it completely to Him.
5. Be prepared to praise Him whether He restores your Isaac or removes it.
6. Practice these principles DAILY.

Don't Stop The Madness.

"All I hear is what they're selling me
That God is love, he isn't suffering
And what you need's a little faith and prosperity
But, oh my God, I know there's more than this
If you promise pain it can't be meaningless
So make me poor if that's the price for freedom

Don't stop the madness
Don't stop the chaos
Don't stop the pain surrounding me
Don't be afraid, Lord, to break my heart
If it brings me down to my knees."
I LOVE this song by Tenth Avenue North.
Christianity does not equal prosperity. If that were the case, all non-believers would be in constant suffering and all believers would be successful (all by an earthly standard, of course).

Jesus, the one who died on the cross for our sins, the one who made a way for salvation, SUFFERED. If He, a man encompassed in perfection, suffered, then how can we not?
But like the song, said, the pain that is promised to us is not meaningless. 

"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him" -James 1:12

How amazing!

Identity.

It has been one of those days...one of those days where my mind is just feeding me lie after lie. Is it my mind, is it my surroundings/the fallen world in which we live? Is it Satan?

I think that because of Satan, I live in a fallen world, a world in which Satan can so easily tempt and seduce the evil desires of my mind.

Ugh, this is heavy stuff right? But it is real life! "To sin or not to sin" is a choice I'm making on a second-to-second basis.

I don't even know how much of it I want to get into, but here goes: I struggle with my identity, ALL. OF. THE. TIME.

So often I'm wrapped up in: I'm from this place, I went to this school, I majored in this subject, I lived here, but now I live here, I am married, I have this many friends, I do this as a hobby, I am REALLY good at this, ect.

There are some days, or moments, when I am feeling so satisfied and impressed by this identity I have created. Like, "wow, I am so proud of myself and who I have become". Graduating school did that to me, getting married did that to me, getting a new job did that to me, moving to a new apartment did that to me, ect.

I will feel content and satisfied...UNTIL, someone else tells me something exciting and thrilling about their own "identity"...

*Cue the horrible feelings of jealousy* <----All I want is for you to go away!

Everyone has a certain temptation that continually nips at them and mine would have to be jealousy. I hate admitting it. I absolutely do, but it is true.

Which is WHY, I am posting this. Through prayer and strength that only Jesus can give me, I am making a conscious effort to pursue my own identity. NOT the identity that I listed before, the one that is based on my own achievements and such. I am going to focus on my true identity:

I am a child of God. I am a friend of God. I am a citizen of Heaven. I am chosen by God. I am forgiven. I am blameless in His sight. I can bring glory to God. I am a new creation. I am victorious!

To help keep me on track I am starting this daily devotional by Joyce Meyers:

And the whole reason why I wrote this blog entry, other than to encourage others, was that by making it public, I could be held accountable to actually keep up with this devotional.

I just don't spend enough time with Jesus and I need to!

Did any of this make sense? At all?

I just want to send the message that yes, where I'm from, where I went to school, who I married, ect., is a huge part of who I am today as a human being. It is what makes me recognizable...it defines me in an earthly societal way. BUT it is not my true, eternal identity. My human achievement identity is not where I want to put my confidence in, (because when I do that, I am constantly a slave to myself), rather I want to put my confidence in the One who created me: God! He is my identity!

Truthfully, just writing this blog entry made me feel better already. It was such a good reminder of WHO I really am. Well, I'm off to read my devotional! Thanks for reading! :)

With love, Jenny.