Identity.

It has been one of those days...one of those days where my mind is just feeding me lie after lie. Is it my mind, is it my surroundings/the fallen world in which we live? Is it Satan?

I think that because of Satan, I live in a fallen world, a world in which Satan can so easily tempt and seduce the evil desires of my mind.

Ugh, this is heavy stuff right? But it is real life! "To sin or not to sin" is a choice I'm making on a second-to-second basis.

I don't even know how much of it I want to get into, but here goes: I struggle with my identity, ALL. OF. THE. TIME.

So often I'm wrapped up in: I'm from this place, I went to this school, I majored in this subject, I lived here, but now I live here, I am married, I have this many friends, I do this as a hobby, I am REALLY good at this, ect.

There are some days, or moments, when I am feeling so satisfied and impressed by this identity I have created. Like, "wow, I am so proud of myself and who I have become". Graduating school did that to me, getting married did that to me, getting a new job did that to me, moving to a new apartment did that to me, ect.

I will feel content and satisfied...UNTIL, someone else tells me something exciting and thrilling about their own "identity"...

*Cue the horrible feelings of jealousy* <----All I want is for you to go away!

Everyone has a certain temptation that continually nips at them and mine would have to be jealousy. I hate admitting it. I absolutely do, but it is true.

Which is WHY, I am posting this. Through prayer and strength that only Jesus can give me, I am making a conscious effort to pursue my own identity. NOT the identity that I listed before, the one that is based on my own achievements and such. I am going to focus on my true identity:

I am a child of God. I am a friend of God. I am a citizen of Heaven. I am chosen by God. I am forgiven. I am blameless in His sight. I can bring glory to God. I am a new creation. I am victorious!

To help keep me on track I am starting this daily devotional by Joyce Meyers:

And the whole reason why I wrote this blog entry, other than to encourage others, was that by making it public, I could be held accountable to actually keep up with this devotional.

I just don't spend enough time with Jesus and I need to!

Did any of this make sense? At all?

I just want to send the message that yes, where I'm from, where I went to school, who I married, ect., is a huge part of who I am today as a human being. It is what makes me recognizable...it defines me in an earthly societal way. BUT it is not my true, eternal identity. My human achievement identity is not where I want to put my confidence in, (because when I do that, I am constantly a slave to myself), rather I want to put my confidence in the One who created me: God! He is my identity!

Truthfully, just writing this blog entry made me feel better already. It was such a good reminder of WHO I really am. Well, I'm off to read my devotional! Thanks for reading! :)

With love, Jenny.