To My 18-Year-Old Self

I'm seeing graduation posts pop up left and right on Facebook of my friend's younger siblings and my little cousins--who aren't so little anymore. Last month was their high school graduation and it's left me feeling a little sentimental and reminiscent. Trust me, I don't want to go back to high school, I'm perfectly fine being in this mid-twenties post-college married chapter of my life, and have zero desire to move backwards. But with all these high school graduations happening around me, my mind can't help but take me back to that beautiful time in my life when every choice I made was going to majorly impact the direction of my life. Oh nostalgia.

I'm 26 years old now and have lived exactly 8 years since my high school graduation. (Um, wow; this is a hard pill to swallow, considering I still feel like a teenybopper sometimes.) If my 26-year-old self magically showed up at my graduation and pulled my young-platinum-blonde-haired-bright-eyed-18-year-old self away for a few minutes to tell me what the next 8 years of my life were going to look like...I would not believe a word of it. There's no way! Would I be totally happy and pleasantly pleased with everything I'd hear? Honestly no, and that's only because I had such different expectations for my life at that time. I didn't know how much I was going to change the following years after high school and I especially didn't know the hardships I was going to face.  And I can't imagine being told in advanced the exact struggle I'm going to experience in a few years. I think it'd be the same concept if God laid out our entire future on this earth in front of us, our future according to HIS plans. I imagine there'd be some disappointment and/or confusion as it definitely wouldn't match up to our plans, but God knows best you guys. "The mind of man plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps" (Proverbs 16:9).

Besides a little shock and disappointment, some of the things I'd hear would absolutely blow me away! I mean, if I could I'd give myself a huge high-five! Way to Go, self! How'd you ever manage to pull that off?! WHO ARE YOU?!

---------------

With that said, things I would say to my freshly graduated 18-year-old-self regarding my future:

One day, you're gonna wish you hadn't tanned so much. Look at those crows-feet next to your eyes! You should have listened to your mother, Jennifer. Tisk tisk.

That guy that you're pining over right now, the one who never showed up today, he's actually gonna break a little piece of your heart this summer. Hard to believe, I know. Of course you'll go through some healing over time, but then...he's gonna come back into your life and break off another piece and you'll feel the hurt all over again. I wish you weren't going to give him so much of your time and thoughts. Even though I wish you would have just kept your standards high from the beginning, this season of heartbreak you're about to endure will teach you so much not only about yourself, but about the qualities of a guy you're looking for in a future husband, the man that you're going to choose to spend the rest of your life with. I know you're not going to listen to anyone and you'll ignore all the red flags because you're so hung up on him, but just know that God's got you throughout this whole thing.

Your huge princess high-school-graduation dress cost more than your wedding dress. Isn't that funny?!

Baking My First Wedding Cake.

Hello friends! Guess what? I baked my first wedding cake! OK, I'm sort of lying. Technically, this isn't my first wedding cake, per say. I have done one once before but that was alongside a friend (a.k.a I had someone to share all the stress and balance out the crazy emotions with).

Whereas this time around, it was all me, 100% me. (Note: I did have some help at the very end, but I'll get to that later!)
Plus, the first wedding cake I did was completely different from this one! It was an 8" round cake with fondant, sugar flowers, and cupcakes on the side. The wedding cake I did this time around was made up of TIERS, frosted with buttercream, and decorated with real greenery.

I wrote this blog entry so that I could share with you what this wedding cake journey was like for me, and perhaps encourage a fellow baker or two that you don't have to be a "professional cake designer" to execute a beautiful wedding cake. If I can do it, so can you!! So, let's start from the beginning, shall we?

Back in the Fall after our good friends got engaged, I received a pretty little card in the mail from the future-bride-to-be that said: will you do us the honour of baking our wedding cake for our wedding on April 1st, 2017?

Heart-Shaped Strawberry Hand Pies.

Hello, friends!! I feel like it's been forever since I've done a lengthy and detailed blog post dedicated to all things buttery, sweet, and delicious. With Valentines Day just around the corner (this upcoming Tuesday!) I thought it'd be best to do some heart-themed baking BEFORE the big day rather than after. I remember last year I did my big foodie-blogger debut of beautiful chocolate-covered strawberries almost a week AFTER Valentines Day had already passed. Oops. And despite it being about the time when everyone's already soooo over the heart's and XO's, that blog post received fabulous feedback among friends and family and encouraged me to keep pursuing my love for baking. So here I am, one year later with strawberry heart-shaped hand pies busting my belt under my belt.

Truthfully I wanted to get started on Valentines themed baking in mid January, but with that month being so...difficult, the heart-shaped-everythings had to wait. To explain, I was sick and feeling under the weather for about 3 weeks, and then Jarryd's grandmother passed away at the end of January. It was a month of sickness, hospital visits, tears, and grief. So, baking didn't even stand a chance. Although I did bake two different large batches of cookies for the funeral so that was good for my baking-spirits. In conclusion it was a very hard month, but also good at the same time. All I can say is that you don't grow through the easy times, it's the rough gut-wrenching seasons that make you stronger. 💕

Cookies and Cream Layer Cake {My Birthday Weekend}

I'm 26! I'm Twenty-six years old, and so far it feels better than twenty-five did! It's crazy to believe that I'm now on the climb to thirty, or would it be better phrased as falling down an inevitable steep downward slope? I vaguely remember back in the day teasing my 9-years-older-than-me-brother about how he was turning 30 and calling him SO OLD and such. And now, I'm officially on my way to that same "old". (Well, in four years at least!)

Now, onto my birthday weekend. But first, let's rewind a bit here. Three years ago Jarryd and I were invited to a lunch/watch football/play games day at our friend's Jon and Michele's house, where our friend Cameron met Jon and Michele's niece (A.K.A his FUTURE WIFE) for the first time on sort of a "blind dinner party date". We were all having so much fun that we ended up staying not just for lunch but DINNER TOO. (That's how you know it's good!) The two singleton's hit it off and three years later they're happily married! And not only did they hit it off, but the six of us as a "couples" group did too! So, the following year we decided to keep up the tradition and do it again! And now, for the third year in a row we had the same plans set--Sunday lunch immediately following church, games and football in the afternoon, and pizza for dinner. And this time I brought a cake with me!! 😃

Lemon Raspberry Muffins With Streusel Topping

We are now six days into the exciting and hopeful year of 2017 and I can confidently say that it already has not gone according to plan. Truthfully I didn't have much of a plan, but I at least envisioned myself being a healthy person full of energy and productivity.

It all started with New Years Eve weekend, where I was sick as a dog...with a COLD. It was honestly the worst and weirdest cold I have ever had. I say worst because it actually had me bed/couch-ridden, a cold has never done that to me before. I even had to call in sick to work (after a three day weekend yet!) it was so bad; and I say weirdest because I woke up Saturday morning feeling completely deaf. Both of my ears were plugged and my nose too; not to mention my head was aching like crazy. This is Maryland climate I tell you! When I lived in Canada my colds consisted of a dry hacking cough that's constantly itching. In Maryland my colds are all in my nose and ears. This type of cold has definitely been a first for me.

Lemon Blueberry Cupcakes With Lemon Cream Cheese Frosting

I know, I know, it's December! It's that glorious time of year when the only baked goods that you see at parties, gatherings, read about on blogs, and scroll through on Instagram consist of either gingerbread, peppermint flavour, or Christmas tree-shaped sugar cookies. But here I am, in the beginning of December, baking LEMON BLUEBERRY cupcakes. It all just screams a hot summer pool party in July, right?!

I'll admit, ever since I was on Pinterest and stumbled upon Ashley's Lemon Blueberry Cupcake recipe at Baker By Nature, I haven't been able to shake the urge to bake these! I honestly just couldn't wait 'till Summer to bake these; I had to bake them now! So...let's just pretend it's Summer for the next how-ever-many-minutes-it-takes-for-you-to-read-this-post Ok? Ok.

And I don't believe I've even tasted a lemon blueberry dessert before, which is crazy--but the thought of the combination of those two flavours, along with a sweet cream cheese frosting is incredibly enticing. I love lemons, I love blueberries, and I love cream cheese. So why not give it a try?!
Also, I haven't baked cupcakes in over a month, which is WAY too long to go without cupcakes in my books! (Here, here!)

So last Saturday morning, (at like 6 am because I have the inability to sleep in nowadays😩 ) I zested and juiced some lemons, I mixed together the cake batter, scooped it into cupcake liners, slid them into the oven to bake, and then whipped together the cream cheese frosting. (Oh and all of this was done whilst listening to Christmas music AND having my Christmas Balsam candle lit. Gahhh! How magical.) And the whole process was a snap! A total breeze.

The most time consuming stage of all of this was piping the frosting, garnishing the cupcakes with blueberries and lemon zest, and of course styling and photographing them! (Which is obviously optional because one could easily just scrape the frosting on with a knife and snap a quick photo of it with their phone!) But I love food photography so I couldn't NOT take photos of these beauties!

But the best part was the result. You guys!! These cupcakes were amazing! 😍 They tasted absolutely incredible. They had the perfect amount of lemony flavour, they were moist, the blueberries added a whole new dimension of texture and sweet taste, and THE LEMON CREAM CHEESE FROSTING was to die for. There's something truly exquisite about the marriage of cake and frosting; it's seriously a match made in heaven. (This is why cupcakes are better than muffins, right?!)

What do you guys think of my new piping design? I actually really love this and am thinking of making it my "signature" cupcake look! It's so frilly, ruffly, and pretty looking!

I even got significant praise from all of my taste-testers! They got the thumbs up from the husband, which is always important, right ladies? And also the thumbs up from my in-laws--aka my father-in-law the serious foodie. (I wish I could have shared them with all of you!!) Although I feel like I can hardly take any credit since this recipe wasn't created by me. It was all Baker By Nature's. I literally made this recipe exactly how it was written except...I halved the amount of lemon extract. But that's it!

Thank you to Ashley from Baker By Nature for sharing this incredible recipe with the world, and for the cupcake piping/design/garnish inspiration! I'm in love with how these cupcakes turned out both taste wise and looks wise! 💖

Personally, I think the best way to eat these is when the frosting is softened to room temperature, with extra fresh blueberries on the plate, and a cup of hot coffee. The photo above was literally my breakfast last weekend! Cake for breakfast!

Now, if I've inspired you to have a little "summer in December" (I don't blame you for not wanting to bake these, as baking Christmasy desserts of peppermint and gingerbread are just way too good to pass up), or if you want to give this recipe a try in the warmer months/when blueberries are actually in-season, you can find the Lemon Blueberry Cupcakes With Cream Cheese Frosting Recipe HERE!!

Thanks for reading, friends! Happy baking! (Or eating!) And Happy Christmas! 

Pastel Purple Flower Cupcakes.

Hi friends!! At the beginning of August I was asked by a dear friend of mine to bake cupcakes for her upcoming baby shower. I felt incredibly honoured and flattered by her request! I was also super excited to get things rolling because she asked if I could do my signature buttercream flowers on the cupcakes. {Click here to see my past work!} YAY! Piping buttercream flowers is my favourite thing to do in the world of baking. I find it very therapeutic, fun, and at the same time informative because I learn something new every time I pipe out another petal or flower; I learn what I like, dislike, if my buttercream is too thin, thick, cold, or warm, and if I'm applying too much pressure or too little pressure with the piping bag. If I'm not writing these things down I'm attempting to take mental notes. {I need to get better at taking notes while baking because I'm always telling myself that I'll easily remember every little step that I did...pfft! Nope, not the case!}

I was asked to do 4 dozen cupcakes. {48 cupcakes!!} 24 chocolate, and 24 vanilla. This was the biggest cake/cupcake order I've had yet, so I was super excited!! Learning from past experiences and mistakes, I baked half of the cupcakes {12 chocolate and 12 vanilla} the week before the baby shower, froze them {with my careful and tedious-for-good-reason cupcake freezing method} and then baked the other 24 cupcakes on the evening before the baby shower. I think some people look down upon freezing baked goods, because they're not considered "fresh" to them, but alot if not most cake decorators have freezers full of frozen cake layers/cupcakes because it saves them time on the day of decorating. But more than that, freezing cakes actually makes your cake moister. Seriously. {And if you're curious about how to properly freeze cakes, I'd love to share with you a tried and true way!}
I could have easily baked all 48 cupcakes at once, but one of the recipes I love I had only done for cakes so I needed to experiment how they held up in cupcake form and how many cupcakes it could yield. THANKFULLY they turned out perfectly because that recipe is my all-time favourite and I wanted to use it so bad for this order!

ALSO, baking some ahead of time helped me figure out what to price the cupcakes at. <---This part is always fun...not! But I must say, since I started pricing baked goods back in the beginning of the year, I have gotten much better at it! Compared to the time it used to take me to price cakes out, this order took no time at all! You guys, the fact that I've improved and progressed in this area makes me SO happy; I feel so encouraged because pricing and cost is a crucial part to the "business" of baking and I feel like I'm on my way!! :) Thank you, Lord!  <3

The evening before the baby shower {Friday} I finished baking all 48 cupcakes {truthfully, I baked a few extra in case some didn't bake properly, and I'm glad I did because there were a few cupcake liners that I didn't fill with enough batter. Oops!}

After experiencing hallucinations and nightmares all night involving some sort of cupcake catastrophe or distaster, on Saturday morning I woke up to my alarm at 7 am. Thank goodness because I had a nightmare that I woke up at 12 pm, leaving me less than 2 hours to whip up the buttercream frosting and pipe 48 floral buttercream cupcakes. Talk about a stressful sleep!! Anyone else experience dreams like this before a big event?!

In all honesty, I spent an extended amount of time on this buttercream frosting; like, much more time than most people would. I just wanted it to be absolutely perfect; not too sweet {especially this!!}, not too soft, not too firm, not too salty {I love salt soooo....it's important for me to remember that not everyone loves salt as much as I do!}. I'm kind of particular in this way...I have a buttercream recipe that I go off of, but after I adding all of the measured ingredients that are listed I just go with the flow, adding a little more vanilla here and there, another teaspoon of salt, another 6 cups of icing sugar, ect. :P And best of all, it's ALL pure, amazing, delicious, melt-in-your-mouth butter. No filmy-feeling-on-the-tongue shortening.
But most of all, I wanted this frosting to be theeeee most perfect pastel purple ever!!

As I briefly mentioned in a previous blog post, I used my 6 QT Professional Series KitchenAid mixer for the buttercream and it was AMAZING. {I should really be getting paid by KitchenAid for saying this...} I've only had my stand mixer for a few months now, so I'm new to the working wonders of the glorious KitchenAid mixer and I must say it's practically life changing. It's like when you have a baby. All is well before your baby comes into the world, and you can't even imagine life WITH a baby in it. Now, after having a baby, you can't even remember your life "before-baby" and can't imagine life "without-baby". Ergo, I can't even imagine my life "without-my-pastel-pink-KitchenAid-stand-mixer". {bahah, how terrible was that comparison?! I thought it was fitting with the whole baby shower theme...be nice to me in your comments below... :P }

ANYWAY...This particular cupcake endeavour was my most organized and successful one yet, take this photo for example:

I have a clean kitchen {culinary school's classic: clean-as-you-go system}, all of the cupcakes are laid out in their fancy "boxes", and everything is set up in "assembly line" fashion; buttercream frosting, piping tips and couplers, disposable piping bags, cupcake wrappers, and glitter {which I never ended up using}.
I even had it all planned out of what piped flower designs I would do and exactly how many of each design as well. {I've progressed immensely!}

This is just beautiful. When I see cupcakes like this I see delicious blank slates, ready for anything. I get so so soooo excited and nervous {the good kind of nervous!} during this stage of baking because it's my favourite part and also the most crucial part. I just love piping flowers and applying all of the finishing touches!

 My first four cupcakes in the rose design, none of which I had to redo! I got it all perfect on the first try!! Ugh, what a good day.

A few hours later, DONE. 48 cupcakes DONE! I get asked how long it takes me to do each cupcake and honestly, it can go from a few seconds to a few minutes. The rose swirls for example take literally seconds, whereas the tiny-petaled-chrysanthemum designs take minutes because of the tediousness. {But the intricacy of the eye-appeal is totally worth it!}

Due to the annoyingly horrible indoor lighting our kitchen has to offer, the colour of the cupcakes you see in this photo is not true. In fact, they definitely look more pink here than they do purple. That is why whenever I am colouring my buttercream frosting I'm always dipping my spatula in the frosting and then walking over to our living room window and holding the spatula up against the white wall so that I can see the true colour of the frosting I've produced. I think I did this 10 + times trying to achieve the perfect pastel purple {and it SURE paid off}!

I bought these BEAUTIFUL laser-cut lace cupcake wrappers off of Amazon and I wasn't completely sure if I'd even use them, just because I'd never used cupcake wrappers before. But the moment I placed the first cupcake in one of those lacy-white beauties I fell in LOVE.

The cupcake wrappers made these cupcakes go from "pretty cute" to "GORGEOUS"! They add a whole different dimension to the cupcakes because they hide those wrinkly transparent cupcake liners.

AND OF COURSE, anyone who knows me at all know that I need to photograph all of my beauties!! :D Note the colour difference from the photos taken in my kitchen to the photos taken beside the window! If there's any advice I can give to foodie photographers, please take photos of your food in natural light--you'll give so much more justice to the work you put into your creations!!

Unfortunately I didn't have alot of time for a photoshoot, so setting them on this marble tray was all I could come up with.

 ^The cupcake with all of the little petals is the one that takes the longest to pipe. {Can you imagine piping 4 dozen of just that design of cupcakes?!}

 I also ordered these amazing plastic cupcake boxes off of Amazon {Amazon Prime is my best friend--what is better than free 2-day shipping?!}. These boxes are perfect because their domes have a high height and their compartments are wide enough to fit cupcakes plus their cupcake wrappers-although it was a little snug in there. I'd ask for compartments with a teeny-weeny bit more circumference if I could...

All ready for transport!! Delivering them is also a nerve-wracking part of the whole ordeal.

Now, normally I drive to the destination, open the boxes to show them to my client to make sure they're pleased, return to my car, drive home and sigh a huuuuuuge glorious sigh of cake-decorator's relief. But this time was different as I was actually attending the baby shower. Not only did I have to bake the cupcakes, but I had to be present for when people were trying them and eating them for the first time! {GAH!!} So many fears and insecurities snuck into my brain at this time such as, "what if they're actually horrible? What if nobody likes them?!" but I just have to remind myself that I KNOW what I'm doing. I've done this before! I've had friends and family taste-test all of my recipes and give me honest feedback. I've tasted this batch of cupcakes at every stage of the baking and decorating process, and most of all, I have put so much love into this it's not even funny! I don't think I've ever put so much love into a cake order yet {mostly because my love grows surprisingly deeper and deeper every time! Haha!}.

Despite driving to the wrong house and not remembering the actual address of the baby shower and having to call Jarryd at home to go look at the invite to tell me the address and then mentally freaking out because I was arriving late to the baby shower and feeling horrible because this is an important cake order and it probably looks so bad for my reputation that I'm LATE, it was all good because it was so busy inside the house with everyone standing and greeting one another that nobody even noticed I was late! * gasp * WOOOOW that was a long run-on sentence!! {Plus, I think when my "clients"/friends laid eyes on the cupcakes it distracted them from me being 10 minutes late}. Phewwwwww!

And then there's THIS!! I always say that piping the flowers on my cupcakes is my favourite part of the process, but seeing the look of approval and joy on people's faces when they see and taste my cupcakes is actually my favourite part. It's the reason I even DO all of this!!

It felt incredible to have complete strangers come up to me at this shower and ask me "was it you who made the cupcakes?", and after an enthusiastic squeaky "yes!" from me, for them to say how amazing they were, that they not only looked gorgeous but TASTED incredible and that they'd like business cards, felt so so so good!! I honestly can't even tell you how many people came up to me to compliment me because I completely lost count {haha!}. I'm pretty sure I looked like I was permanently blushing the entire time. And it's not like I went around the room approaching people with a "sooooo how'd you like the cupcakes?!" just fishing for compliments {believe it or not, there ARE personalities who do this!}. Like, total strangers approached me; total strangers along with friends and acquaintances went out of their way to talk to me about the cupcakes. They didn't have to say anything, but they did, and I'm so glad!

I've always been a person who can take criticism well. I'm very teachable and can learn from my shortcomings; therefore, I appreciate ANY kind of feedback, especially on something that I'm most passionate about!

As I said in my above Instagram post, I'm so thankful for this passion that God has instilled in me; He gives us these passions for a reason. He's given me the patience to wait for cake batter to rise in the oven. He's given me a steady hand to hold a piping bag and for piping intricate designs. He's given me a creative eye for food styling and skill with a camera. He's given me introverted mind that never tires of dreaming, imagining, and exploring new ideas! There's also things that aren't so natural to me such as planning most efficiently and working with numbers, but He's given me the determination and motivation to grow in these areas!! He is so good and I'm so excited and willing to go wherever He takes me with this whole baking thing! <3

A few days later after all of this, my friend sent me photos that she took of my cupcakes {and some with her preggo belly!!} with her fancy-schmancy camera and because I'm so in love with them I just HAD to share them on here with you guys!

 Baby belly! :)

I just love how they look with the wood!

Thank you to everyone for supporting me and for all of your encouragement and LOVE. I appreciate it more than you know! And thank you for reading my bloggy blog. I would absolutely love to hear what you think in the comments below!! Until next time, friends! <3

Carrot Cake for Mother's Day.

"I'm such a FAILURE!" were the words I kept repeating to myself that Saturday evening. My attempt at baking a simple carrot cake totally flopped and I couldn't help but kick myself hard while I was down.

I'm trusting you know that the photos I post on my Instagram, Facebook, and here on my blog are only the best of the best. This is just common knowledge by now, correct? Y'all may see a perfect picture of a good-looking cupcake, but what you don't know is that I may have used my special "crop" button to edit out the massive pile of dirty dishes in the sink on one side and the filthy countertop on the other. Except for in my Chocolate Covered Strawberries blog post, I don't show you the projects that don't turn out, nor do I tell you about them. {I get prideful every now and then...}

Even though I've been baking for years, I still go through these horrible catastrophes; a project that I put immense time and effort into doesn't turn out at all. Unfortunately I take those moments pretty hard. {I'm learning, OK?} I'm not completely sure why, but instead of just posting a bunch of photos of my finished carrot cake, I wanted to be 100% honest and share with you that this particular cake at first was a DISASTER. So, the truth is out! It's not all "buttercream roses" over here all of the time...although I wish it were. ;)

So, to backtrack to a few weeks ago:
I knew Mother's Day was coming up quick, so on that Friday evening as I was layin' in bed, I thought to myself, what is something special I can do for my Mother-in-Law this Mother's Day?

There's always a nice card, right? A nice card...with nice words...that a nice company called Hallmark wrote for you, right? Hmm.
OH! I KNOW! CAKE!
Everyone loves cake, right?! My husband claims he doesn't like cake, but then the next thing you know all of my cupcakes suddenly disappear... Hmmph. :P

I distinctly remembered that my Mother-in-Law liked carrot cake. So just to make sure that my hippocampus was in check, I texted my Father-in-Law asking if she did in fact like carrot cake.
Yes, yes she does! Perfect.
I then began planning it all out:

• Grocery shop Saturday morning,
• bake the cake Saturday evening,
• decorate the cake Sunday after church,
• and deliver the cake Sunday evening.

So on Saturday morning, Jarryd and I set off for the grocery store. Yes, we grocery shop together. Cute, isn't it? :) It's fun going together. But truthfully, I also don't mind going on my own every now and then. {Introvert alert!} His "man-ness" really likes to come out when shopping and therefore he doesn't always appreciate my "woman-ness" when I feel the need to go up and down EVERY single aisle at a snails pace. Pffft. :D

This carrot cake recipe that I love with all of my heart calls for buttermilk, but the grocery store didn't have buttermilk. Whatever; it was all good, because I knew that I could very easily conjure up a buttermilk substitute when I got home later that day!

Once I arrived home, I got straight to cleaning the kitchen. I cleaned that thing SO good! A sparkling clean kitchen seriously makes cooking and baking a thousand times more enjoyable. And if you wear a pretty apron while baking you almost feel like you're the next Martha Stewart on the set of your cooking show. ;)

On a side note, that evening Jarryd made Lobster Mac & Cheese. {Actually it was made with Cavatappi, so it really should have been called "Lobster Cavatappi & Cheese".}

 Look at those beauties. And talk about an expensive meal too. Lobster tails are NOT cheap.

 Jarryd is a GREAT cook!! He was also so proud of himself for making his very first Roux. Cute, hehe (I've been making Roux's for years now). ;)

 He did such an amazing job with this Lobster Cavatappi & Cheese--it tasted absolutely delicious. Anything topped with a buttery Panko breadcrumb and Parmesan cheese mixture is amazing. Plus, LOBSTER!

He may have done the cooking, but I obviously did the food styling and photography. ;)

Anyway, back to BAKING. When the oven timer went off, I shook each pan and they jiggled in the middle. I stuck my special "cake tester" stick into the centre of the cake and none of the batter stuck to it. Hmmm...this is odd, it's not completely set, yet no batter is coming out with the stick.

I let them bake just a little longer, and then removed them to cool. An hour later I returned to the kitchen to remove the cakes from their pans and the middles were STILL jiggly. Quite irritated, I turned the oven back on and baked them some more. I even covered them with foil so the edges wouldn't dry out. Two twenty minute intervals later, they were STILL jiggly. I removed the cakes once again and let them sit on the counter, once again. After they've cooled, AGAIN, I remove them from their pans. I tried everything I could to salvage the dang things. Perhaps it's just the top middle of the cakes that aren't set? So I take my serrated knife and slice each cake in half. I can't even pick them up without them wanting to break in half. :(

In total frustration I just dug my hands into the two cakes and pretty much ripped them to shreds. {Do you ever do weird things like that when you're upset?} Everything immediately following this is pretty much a blur. I remember leaving everything on the counter, including the mess of what was supposed to be a cake, turning off the kitchen light, crawling into bed and just crying a few much needed and well-deserved tears of frustration.

{And in case you're wondering: No, I didn't take a photo of my cake disaster--Now that I am a few weeks older and wiser, I wish that I would have, just for some photographic proof. But to be completely honest, in that moment I couldn't stand to be in the vicinity of cake pans any longer! I was just so upset!}

So my carrot cake didn't turn out. :( I texted to Jarryd. Ugh. I felt like such a failure, for several reasons. One, was that I've made this carrot cake recipe like 3 or 4 times before. I KNOW how to make it and I KNOW it can turn out amazingly. It's a killer recipe! Another reason is that I just so badly want to be naturally good at baking everytime and all the time; I want it to be my thing! I guess because I feel so passionate about baking I just want it to be a perfect process all of the time. {Unrealistic, I know.}

As to why it didn't turn out, I am thinking it was because of my buttermilk substitute of sour cream, milk, and lemon juice. Ugh!

So when Jarryd got home later, he asked me what I was going to do.
Well, I'm gonna go to Walmart tomorrow morning, pick up the ingredients I need, and just bake and decorate it all before the evening!
^Keep in mind, this was said in a very irritated tone. My weekend just wasn't turning out the way I had planned. Not at all! My weekdays are SO busy that when it comes to the weekends all I want to do is have some down time, relax, and sit as much as possible as I'm on my feet all day at work!

And then Jarryd responded with the sweetest words--what I truly needed to hear in that moment. See! that's what I love about you. You never give up!

Sigh. :)

Sunday morning. THIS was fun. The first thing I did was head to Walmart {not a fan of this store, but I was in a serious time crunch!}. And let's not forget, in order for me to get from our bedroom to the front door I had to walk past my disaster of a kitchen that was now covered in carrot cake. Blech.

PRAISE THE LORD, Walmart had buttermilk. {I was beginning to think that Buttermilk was only a Canadian thing--haha, silly me.} I got home and started baking. After I had shuffled through all those plastic Walmart bags I realized I was missing a bag--the bag with the buttermilk! UGH!!
So I drove back to Walmart in a total huff, talked to the cashier about it, who already put the buttermilk back on the shelf at the back of the store.
I just couldn't believe the weekend I had been having. Why was this whole baking thing being so difficult?! Why was I so cranky in the midst of doing something that I love?
Again, now that I am a few days older and wiser, I have it pinpointed that because I have so little time to myself, I just want it to go as planned. Because when time doesn't go as planned, I see it as "wasted time".

So after the whole Walmart thing got sorted out, I baked the cakes--as quickly as I could--and they turned out ABSOLUTELY PERFECT! Talk about a sigh of relief! I'M BACK!!! I exclaimed to the world!

 There they are, perfect as ever. I would have liked to have done a three-layer cake, but with all the screwing up I ran out of necessary ingredients. Oh well, next time. :)

 Toasted coconut, ladies and gentlemen! {I was originally going to leave this out, but my first batch of toasted coconut burnt to a black ugly crisp and I nearly stung my eyes out as I opened that oven door. Just another thing that went wrong haha...}

Here are the two layers of carrot cake sandwiching a beautiful layer of cream cheese frosting. As you can see, I have a very thin layer of frosting around the whole cake. This is called a "Crumb Coat". After you apply the thin layer all over, you place the cake in the fridge until it gets cold and hardens. This allows for when you apply the finished layer of frosting to be flawless--without any crumbs scattered throughout it. Genius, I say!

 After applying the final layer of cream cheese frosting, I garnished it with some of that gorgeous toasted coconut.

 Then, I gave it some walnut garnishes. One thing I learned in culinary school in regards to garnishes is to only use what is relevant. I wouldn't put mint leaves around the top, because there is no mint INSIDE the cake. I put toasted coconut and walnuts on the outside of the cake because it's in the inside of the cake. I mean, I guess I could place an actual whole carrot on top and call it a day, but that's a little too "rustic" for me. Bahah!

Truthfully, I was extremely tempted to leave it like this.
It's simplicity is truly beautiful in it's own way...a.k.a- I was so exhausted and just wanted to curl up in a ball and sleep forever. But that would have been the easy way out...

So I decided to do some buttercream flowers!! :) THIS PART, the final, finishing touches is my absolute favourite part of baking. I love to decorate.

Fun fact: I did this all without a rotating cake stand. Talk about a PAIN in the neck. The awkward positions you have to put your body in just to decorate a simple cake is ridiculous. Don't worry folks, it's next on the list of things to buy!

 The yellow rose was inspired by my Mother-in-law, whose favourite colour is yellow. :) <3

OH! And this was my very first time using my leaf tips to make leaves and I'm so happy with how they turned out. I never thought piping leaves could be so easy!

I am totally honest in saying this...this cake turned out way better than I thought it would.

 Apparently I have become a VERY messy baker. Then again, I think it was just the unfortunate circumstance of having to redo everything and blah blah blah. {I'm learning, people!}

 Jarryd told me that I look like I'm holding our newborn child. Ha ha ha!

 DON'T drop it, self!!

I learned a WHOLE lot through this one cake baking weekend. I learned that I am SO glad I didn't give up. My first carrot cake was an absolute disaster--and that's OK. Just because one cake doesn't turn out it doesn't mean that I am a failure, loser, or incompetent. It means I am only human. When things don't work, just cry; cry it out. Destress, let the stress escape your body in the form of ugly wet tears, crawl into bed, PRAY to Jesus for strength and gratefulness, and get some sleep. REST. The Bible talks so much about rest, and it makes sense because I'm usually at my worst when I'm exhausted and sleep deprived.

Getting back up after falling down, and then moving on to create something beautiful that tasted as good as it looked--maybe even better--one thing I am very proud of myself for.

Also, seeing the look on my in-laws faces when they laid eyes on this cake was sooo worth it! I never told them any of this, like how my first carrot cake never turned out and how stressful the whole ordeal was, so if they're reading this...SURPRISE! :) Love you guys!

So in conclusion, despite the messy weekend I had, I STILL love baking and I'm still going to keep on keepin' on! In fact, I have a cake order this weekend that I am incredibly excited for!! I can't wait to get going on it. :)

Thanks everyone for reading this. I haven't blogged in awhile and therefore I feel like my writing skills aren't quite as up to par as they once were. I hope you enjoyed reading about my accomplishments ALONG with my failures. Balance is key, right? Xoxo! <3