Walls.

I feel like I've lost my need to be vulnerable.

When I first started writing this blog, being vulnerable with my thoughts was my one and only intention. In fact, it was the reason I even created a blog! Whenever something would be on my heart, I'd want nothing more than to write about it. And I did write about things; anything and everything, no matter how embarrassing, or how small it made me feel.

Now, I feel as if it requires so much effort to write even the shortest of entries. What happened? Where did the hunger and motivation go?

I guess I fell back into the chasm of caring too much. I got out of that hole once, for awhile at that, believe me, but now I'm finding myself in there again. Apparently the opinions of others seem to matter so much to me. Why, though? They shouldn't matter. If you spend your life trying to please others, how are you ever going to grow? How will you ever realize your dreams, your fears, and the things that matter most in life?

If I write this blog only to please others, it would be like building a wall around me. It would be like hiding all of the "flaws" inside and only letting the "socially-accepting" things rest outside against the bricks. I know that the reason I build walls around me is that I'm scared I won't be loved for who I am. But after tearing down the walls, the greatest feeling in the world is seeing how many people actually stick around. :)

These walls are going down, one brick at a time. A.K.A - You'll be hearing again from me soon.