Midterm Craze.

A few weeks ago, I had written the worst midterm exam in my entire life. It consisted of 6 essay questions, each answer being a page in length, all in the nice, short time span of 90 minutes.

During this exam, my mind drew blanks, imaginary Grandfather clocks surrounded my head, and my hand was overwhelmingly numb from all of the scribbling. As time wheeled on, my once neat and organized essay format had morphed into a sad-looking point format.

And as the clock struck One, I hadn't even finished. It was AWFUL. All I could think was despite how hard I had studied, this mark will in no way portray that.

I'm honestly under so much pressure right now. This school is so expensive, and with my parents helping me out, I want to show them that I'm not taking any of this for granted. I want to show them that I'm working hard and getting my/(their) money's worth.

And in a sort of sad, foolish, and kick-myself-whenever-I-admit-it belief, my education is all I have going for me. If I mess this up, I don't know what I'd do...

I don't have a backup plan, or a "Plan B" one might say. I'm not one of those super amazingly talented kind of people who have the opportunity to head so many different directions at once. I'm not captain of the soccer team by day, a kick-ass lawyer by night, and a cafe guitarist on the side. I know I have something inside of me that's God-given, I just don't know what.

Yeah, it's a touchy subject...

Then today, a few weeks later, I received my midterm mark. I got 29/30 a.k.a: 96%. It's definitely one of those "What...the...heccck...?" kind of moments. Here, I've been spending all of this time mad and disappointed in myself, when I somehow end up scoring a 96%? How does that work?

All I can say right now is that I'm shocked, relieved, and definitely ready for whatever else comes at me.

And now that midterms are finally OVER, I will hopefully be able to be a slightly avid writer once again! Hurrah!

p.s- Halloween was great :)