Music.

This may sound stupid, lazy, or foolish, but if I could do one thing for the rest of my life, it would be to lie in my bed and listen to music; it would last forever, the playlist would never end, and the songs would be the ones that make me feel something, sad, angry, joyful, loved, hurt...just plain moved.

I realized today that music is my life. Turning up the speakers is the first thing I do in the morning, and the last thing I do before I close my eyes at night.

I don't listen to music so that it can help me forget about life, or escape from reality. In fact, music does the complete opposite for me. It emphasizes every smile, tear, and butterfly that I've ever felt. It ignites memories of people and moments, no matter how great or how terrible or meaningless they may be. For example, as I put my iTunes on shuffle right now, I'm going to list the memories they spark inside of me:

Breaking Benjamin reminds me of when I was in grade 9, and how much I hated feeling like an only child, after all of my siblings had moved out. I still remember asking this guy I used to talk to for hours every day and every night, "what can I do to help me sleep at night?" I remember lying in bed every night, crying because all I ever wanted, all I ever desired, was just to sleep. Insomnia at its finest.

Every Rascal Flatts song reminds me of how much I hated last summer.

Anberlin reminds me of the time when I was on MSN and I saw that the guy I had a huge crush on was listening to "Never Take Friendship Personal - Anberlin"...I downloaded all their albums that night.

Secondhand Serenade reminds me of being in Grade 11 and being totally convinced that having guy friends from a different town 20 minutes away was the coolest thing.
Josh Turner reminds me of a guy I know whom when he sings, he sounds exactly like him. It's actually pretty amazing.
Britney Spears reminds me of the time my sister came home with the "Oops...I did it again" CD back in the 90s. I was so angry, because it wasn't Christian music.

Metrostation reminds me of my road trip with my sister to Banff, Alberta. We had it cranked the whole way through the mountains.

The Grease soundtrack reminds me of the first guy I ever held hands with a few years ago.

Coldplay "Clocks" reminds me of one of my friends' weddings, the song the groom walked down the aisle to.

Rodney Atkins reminds me of the summers I used to spend at my sisters' college in Saskatchewan, walking to Starbucks/Subway everyday.

Keith Urban reminds me of the guy who caused me to fall in love with country music.

Taylor Swift "Stay Beautiful" reminds me of when I wrote a poem for a guy I liked, and actually gave it to him. That's the last time I ever did that.

Hinder reminds me of the times I used to workout to this salsa video I bought when I was 16. For reasons that are unknown...seriously.

Sarah McLachlan reminds me of the funeral I attended for a girl who died much too young. I'll never forget that...

Aly & AJ remind me of when I painted the walls of my room red.

Miley Cyrus reminds me of strawing the barn one day in summer.

Vanessa Carlton reminds me of this boy I used to like. I know...it's awkward.

Nsync will always remind me of my best friend.

Avril Lavigne reminds me of the first CD I ever bought. You don't need to tell me twice how embarrassing that is.

The Kooks reminds me of this guy I met on myspace who was from Germany.

Dashboard Confessional reminds me of my emo days.

Miranda Lambert will always remind me of the girl I used to believe I could never live up to.

Hairspray soundtrack reminds me of when I was in grade 11, while I was watching Hairspray, this guy told me over text message that he wanted me to be his girlfriend.

Lady Antebellum reminds me of the video my roomie and I created, which proclaimed what my wedding song is.

Nelly Furtado reminds me of going to the Winnipeg Symphony Orchestra in middle school.

Seventh Day Slumber reminds me of my low self-esteem in high school.

Ashley Tisdale reminds me of when I deleted alot of files from my computer last summer on the way home from Virginia.

Bananarama reminds me of when I went through this 80s-music-loving phase a few summers ago.

Victoria Beckham reminds me of watching the 2006 FIFA World Cup everyday.

Owl City reminds me of my dorm room back in University.

Moulin Rouge soundtrack reminds me of this guy I used to be absolutely obsessed with, when I was just starting high school.

Destiny's Child reminds me of one of my friend telling me that I'm an excellent lip syncer. I was flattered.

So as you can tell, every single song in my iTunes holds a tiny piece of my past. Music is great, which is why I'm lying in bed at 3:30 AM listening to it. Makes sense, no?