The Food of Love

Can I just say that I found the most amazing Tumblr site ever?

It's called The Food of Love and these pictures inspire me to no end!

❤ ❤ ❤

4/6 Papers completed! It's actually amazing how that was accomplished, seeing as how I watched like five movies this weekend. :)

Keep in Touch.

I love Facebook for one reason, and one reason only.
It allows me to keep in contact with those whom I love so dearly!

Thank you God, for giving humanity the mind capabilities to create such a thing as Facebook. I pray we will use it for good, rather than abuse it.

Anyway, that's off topic. My intended purpose for this entry was to just thank God for allowing me to keep in contact with the people I once lived with my first year at University, then my second year at college, and especially with my family and friends from back home!

It is the greatest thing to go on Facebook and to see all the sweet things my friends are doing since I was with them last. What inspired this was when I went on the Facebook page of one of my best friends who is attending a University in Ontario. It's her very first year of university and I can only imagine what she must be going through! (I have been there (first year), I know what it's like!) First year of university is unlike any other...you're so caught up in a jumble of nervousness and excitement. You don't know how to use the library...you don't know how to not run out of money on your meal-card for the caf (yes, that was me.), and you're completely unaware of the incredible things yet to come! I am so excited for her and am extremely proud of her. :)

I wish I could write a descriptive paper on this topic (that would be awesome), but I must continue on with my research paper on Martin Luther doctrine of the Church. Did I mention that I have just learned so much from school this year? Especially about the history of Christianity. Amazing stuff, yet also incredibly weird and horrible at the same time.
Oh, I also now know how to write in footnote format! How exciting......cough.

Anyway, I have about 2 1/2 papers out of 6 done, so I must get to it!

<3 Jenny

Bessie, Bop, or Bach.

Mmm...

I am sitting at the cafe surrounded by my books, pencils, papers, and tea.

And Jazz-like Christmas music is in the air.

I am having an introvert moment. And it is lovely.

It's nice. Here, I can read my Langston Hughes poetry aloud, with no funny looks towards me.

I am also excited. I now have 2/6 papers finished! :)

“Well, I like to eat, sleep, drink, and be in love.

I like a pipe for a Christmas present, or records—Bessie, bop, or Bach.”

-Langston Hughes

Papers papers papers.

Last week I had a paper due.

This week I have one paper due.

Next week I have three papers due.

And the week after that I have one paper due.

So far, I have completed 1/6 papers, and that feels good. It's an accomplishment I suppose.

The school already has full-blown Christmas decorations up which makes it 10x harder to even concentrate on writing these papers...because I'd rather be celebrating my favourite season of the year!!

Paper writing isn't all that bad. I love writing, and I love learning. My two favourite things all in one; what could be more exciting? (ha...)

Anyway, my prayer is that I'll be OK. That I won't get stressed because grades really aren't everything. My sole purpose of attending college is so that I can grow in my relationship with God and let Him lead me where He wants to.

Hopefully, I will have at least 2/6 papers done by the time I blog next. :)

Dirt Road Prayer.

Let the light shine on my mama
She's been worried about me
And I can tell she's tired
Walk my brother in a straight line
I know he’s only 16
But he’s been playing with fire
Give my grandpa a little peace and quiet
I can feel the years of hard work in his hands
Make my days pass just a little bit slower
I’ve been runnin’ so fast
I’ve forgotten who I am

And so I go where the green grass grows
The weeds are high and the sun hangs low
Look to the sky and I say, hello
Like it’s the very first time
It doesn’t matter how long it’s been
I can talk to God like he’s my best friend
Take my heart lay it down again right there
In a dirt road prayer

He’s a good guy
Looks dad in the eye
And I wonder if you made him just for me
But before I fall give me patience
Until you show me where to take this

And I go where the green grass grows
The weeds are high and the sun hangs low
Look to the sky and I say, hello
Like it’s the very first time
It doesn’t matter how long it’s been
I can talk to God like he’s my best friend
Take my heart lay it down again right there
In a dirt road prayer

It’s good to know I can
Always go where the green grass grows
The weeds are high and the sun hangs low
Look to the sky and I say hello, ooo yeah
It doesn’t matter how long it’s been
I can talk to God like he’s my best friend
Take my heart and lay it down again right there
In a dirt road prayer.

-Lauren Alaina-

Can't.

My new realization: I'm sorry but I just can't be friends with a chameleon.

A New Emotion.

It's crazy.
Since a year ago, my life has done a complete 180.
I'm going to try my best to explain it; While attending this Bible college since September, God has placed me in specific situations with specific people for specific reasons.
I believe that in both preparation AND as a result of this current escapade, God has given me an emotion I have never experienced before.


He has given me: a righteous anger.


It's insane. It's like nothing I have ever felt before! It makes being a Christian 10x harder than before, but at the same time it makes being a Christian 10x easier than before. I know, impossible to explain, right?
But bear with me here. First of all, righteous anger is different from normal anger:


Righteous anger: makes you desire for people to feel convicted of their sin, that they will realize their sin, and repent of it. It allows you to express the Fruits of the Spirit (found in Galatians 5:22) towards those who are sinning. It also causes you to handle conflict in a Biblical manner.


Sinful Anger: makes you desire for the person who is sinning to get-what-they-deserve and suffer for it because we feel like we are better than them. Sinful anger makes you uncontrollable in your actions, and causes you to act just the opposite of the Fruits of the Spirit.


Lately I've been feeling like David in Psalm 139:19-22, crying out to God saying:


"God, I wish you would kill the wicked!
Get away from me, you murderers!
They say evil things about you.
Your enemies use your name thoughtlessly.
Lord, I hate those who hate you;
I hate those who rise up against you.
I feel only hate for them."


I believe that by how much I have grown in my faith within the past two or so years, I just better understand what it really means to be a Christian. I now understand that if you really love God, you need to give EVERYTHING up for him, and that as Christians we must "turn from [our] selfish ways, take up [our] crosses, and follow God daily" (Matthew 16:24). I don't understand fully (this is an impossible feat.), but I understand better the seriousness,power, and wrath of God. God isn't just some friendly old man sitting on a chair in the sky, floating around amidst the clouds. He is SO powerful and JUST.


And when the time comes, we will be judged for everything we do and every word we say."But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned," (Matt. 12:36).


With this righteous anger I have just become so intolerant of so many things. I hate drunkenness, gossiping (I definitely need to write a blog entry on this one alone!!), sexual immorality, boasting, and disrespect along with many other things.


It's so crazy. I used to be completely tolerant of these things. It's not like I preferred or adored them, I just didn't get upset over them. I just thought, "hey, if they're living like that, it's all good, because I wanna live that way too. And yes, I'm aware that God's gonna judge me one day, but that day is not today; therefore, I can do these things now and ask for forgiveness later." Ugh. This mindset sickens me. And this pertains to how having righteous anger makes living the Christian life easier than before, because it makes me not to do the things I used to do!


But experiencing righteous anger frightens me a little and makes it harder to be a Christian, because I feel it could potentially cause me to become prideful. I can see it making me feel like I am better than the person who is sinning, as if I am a "better Christian" than they are. I do not want for this because pride is the very thing I despise, and I definitely am not a better Christian than anyone. Not at all. 


This new emotion is a tricky, confusing thing. I mean, where do you draw the line on seeing someone's sin and becoming angry about their sin, without judging them on their sin? Because the Bible clearly tells us in Romans 2:1: "therefore, you have no excuse, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things."
I just get so confused...I don't know how to be concerned about someone's sin without potentially judging them for it. It is especially at this hair-pulling point when I need to but God back into the equation.


I need to be in constant prayer with Him so that He can keep my righteous anger from possibly transforming into a sinful anger.
I need to forgive those who I see have sinned and just learn to love them. I must love those EGR people (extra-grace-required people). I need to love how Jesus loved. Sigh, it is so hard, and I cannot do it on my own. Only with God's strength can I love those whom I find to be the unlovable. (I am now hoping that I am not somebody's unlovable person...ha) I pray that if there is somebody I need to confront, that God would make this known to me and would strengthen me to do so.


God, thank you for this emotion you have given me. I pray that you will strengthen me to use this passion in the right way FOR you, rather than in the sinful way AGAINST you. Help me to love like you love, unconditionally. Don't let me ever to be tolerant of the sins I once was tolerant of, keep me in this righteous anger for You.

Caramel Dip.

It has been a grand weekend so far. Last night my roomies and I decorated our room for Christmas. The fridge looks like a giant Christmas present, complete with a giant red bow. Above the sink are red, white, and green candy canes hanging. Sparkly garland laces the windows and each handle of the kitchen cupboards. And best of all, we put up a miniature PINK Christmas tree. I am such a female. :)

I woke up and did some devotions. Revelation is such a sensational book of the Bible! I need to take a class on it or something. It's frightening, exciting, and a reminder that in the end, God WINS.

I then trekked through the blizzard to the gym for the -cue the drum roll- SECOND time this semester. I feel super good right now! I was the only one in there (but how surprising is that? I mean, who really wants to walk through a deathly blizzard just to get sweaty in the end?) so I tried out some machines. I worked my arms, and then rowed on the rowing machine for 2000 miles! (sounds extravagant, doesn't it?) Then I went on the beloved treadmill; it reminded me of all the times I ran this summer. I was so diligent about running back then. I miss the endorphins and the freedom that came along with it. Sigh. I can't wait until the summer comes around again.

And now I am here, in the library with my apple slices and caramel dip. It's definitely not a paper-writing kind of day. It's a cozy-up-to-the-fireplace-and-read-a-Nicholas-Sparks-novel kinda day. But I think I'll just have to settle for the paper-writing, since a) I don't own a fireplace, and b) I didn't bring any of my Nicholas Sparks to college with me.

Call me a 13-year-old girl, but tonight I am seeing Twilight: Breaking Dawn on its opening night. Call me a 13-year-old girl, but I am excited. Haha.

If you haven't already, listen to "The Middle" by American Idol winner -country singer- Lauren Alaina. It is on repeat. :)

The Little Things.

Today was such an incredible day. I wish I could just describe it. It wasn't incredible on the level of like worldly fun, it was incredible in that I can see that God has worked on me, is working on me, and is sustaining me!


But here are just some random things that made the day so great:
I was just super productive this morning in the library.
I got a beautiful mark on my Theology midterm.
I aced my Anthropology quiz.
I was having a good hair day.
My professors are so sweet and helpful!
God took away all my bitterness and replaced it with selfless love.
My volleyball intramural team WON (finally!!)
I made some new friends and had some great talks.
I got to spend the evening with my parents, my sister & bro-in-law, and my two nieces.
I prayed with my boyfriend.
And I am not feeling stressed out about homework at all.


All of these little things just added up to a great day. Something that also helped was that my self-esteem was high. This self esteem just makes me feel so confident and outgoing, and I love it! I hate to admit this, but everyday it is different. I can bounce from low self-esteem to high self-esteem in no time, and I feel like this is wrong. I am a child of God, so therefore, I should always be confident of my identity in Him. I should always know that I am beautiful, friendly, helpful, and kind with God as my Father.


Anyway, I wish I could elaborate on all of this morning, but bedtime is a must. I am just so thankful to God for giving me such a great day, and for opening my eyes to things that I need to change about myself to further glorify Him. He is slowly stripping away my selfishness, pride, and judgment, and it's a nice feeling.


Good night :)

Jeremiah 17:5-8

A good friend of mine sent me this Bible verse today, and I'd like to share it with you. My prayer is that it encourages you as much as it encouraged me!

 ⁵ This is what the LORD says:

   “Cursed is the one who trusts in man, 

who draws strength from mere flesh 

and whose heart turns away from the LORD. 

⁶ That person will be like a bush in the wastelands;

they will not see prosperity when it comes. 

They will dwell in the parched places of the desert,

in a salt land where no one lives.

 ⁷ “But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD,

 whose confidence is in him.

⁸ They will be like a tree planted by the water 

that sends out its roots by the stream. 

It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. 

It has no worries in a year of drought 

and never fails to bear fruit.”

❤  ❤  ❤