October 30, 2010


Have you ever felt content? Like just satisfyingly content? I’m laying beneath my peach-toned duvet, with my “Germany” playlist (strictly Jon Foreman, Taylor Swift, Vanessa Carlton, Miranda Lambert, David Nail, and Chuck Wicks) resounding in my ears, a fleecy hot water bottle caressing my bare feet, and European mineral water engraved in my lips. Yes, I am content. You may ask, how can this be, with your unwashed hair, your excess fat lining the waist of your jeans, your tired eyes, and your cold, dry skin? You’re not in love, you haven’t won an award or trophy for your talents, you haven’t folded your clothes in awhile, and you find yourself trekking through Italy, India, and Indonesia during lecture classes. How could you possibly be content?
Well, I answer. It’s simply this: I don’t need all of those things to feel joy splashing about in my veins. I don’t need attention from masculine souls to be happy, and sometimes getting enough sleep and exercise just doesn’t cut it. What I’ve found is that like the Beatles once exclaimed…all you need is love. Yep. That’s it. All you really do need is love! Love the people you love, do what you love to do, and be who you love to be.
Love the people you love: Everyday I’m gradually beginning to grasp my wish-list of the kinds of people I want in my life, and the reasons why I love them. And everyday it’s safe to say that I’m checking off this wish-list with the encounters of acquaintances and all the while developing deeper friendships. I’ve also kept in a corner of my mind the ones who live an ocean apart from me, who are the ones I’ve loved my whole life, and are the ones who have in return loved me. I miss them. I love them. And I’m counting down the days until Christmas when I get to be with them again. (50 days!)
Do what you love to do: These days I’m living in a land of euphoria, because I’m doing what I love to do. I’m drawing. I’m painting. I’m writing. I’m reading (The Bible, a missionary biography, a fine piece by Robin Jones Gunn, and Eat Pray Love). I’m blogging. My work duty has been promoted from dining-hall floor-vacuumer, to kitchen vegetable prep girl (I cut oodles of lettuce, dice tomatoes, core apples, and peel onions until I’m standing in a puddle of stinging tears and my hands smell “oniony” for the next seven days.) I’m jumping onto random buses and indulging in salami pizza with wonderful people. I’m finding little soul-mate treasures at German flea markets. I’m singing. I’m walking cobblestone streets. I’m playing basketball (horribly). I’m stargazing. I’m learning how to say hello/good day/good morning/good afternoon/good evening in Korean (An Nyung Ha Se Ho)! I’m buying little pins to add to my pin collection, which is portrayed on my fringe purse. I’m sending out I Wish You Were Here’s with letters and postcards. I’m eating chocolate every single day. I can’t remember the last time I cried out of sadness. But most of all, I’m learning more and more about Jesus.
And be who you want to be: This has always been a struggle for me. Many times, being myself hasn’t been good enough for my standards. So I’ve tried to be someone else; I’ve tried tipping the scale to the extroverted side. Being loud and chatty wasn’t for me, or me. Being overwhelmingly outgoing wasn’t for me, or me. I’ve pretended to like things I didn’t really like, and I’ve done things that I could’ve done without. I’ve feared rejection and failure to the point of living like a cabbage, you know how it is, if you don’t try then you’ll be sure to never fail, so don’t try. –Cue slap in the face, bucket of ice cold water, and hard brick wall- What’s the use living like that? These recent handprints, ice cubes, and structured rock piles have done me good.
Brunch is in t-minus 5 minutes. Happy Saturday!


  1. Jenni!!! You sound all grown up!!!! I can't wait to see you at Christmas time too! I miss you tonns, but it sounds like you are growing and learning a lot. I'm super excited that we get to be home at Christmas time too.
    Happy Veggi-Prepping!!!

    Love Leo

  2. :D:D::D:D:D::D:D!!! veggie prepping is the best duty. ahhhhh it makes me so happy that you're becoming yourself. Germany did that to me too! i stopped trying to fake it and be someone else, and i became who i truly am! (my voice even stopped being so low and bored - just ask Leo!!!) i learnt who my true friends were and met the man of my dreams!! God is good.

    i hope i can come out for christmas!!!!!!!!