The Life List.

The other day I did the stereotypical "girl-in-her-early-twenties" thing to do; I went to Barnes & Noble, skimmed the Fiction shelves for a book I've never heard of written by an author I've never heard of. Underneath the "Sparks, Nicholas" section (are we surprised I was even in that area?), I found a book by Lori Nelson Spielman.

I pick it up and look over the summary on the back page.

Hmmm... The Life List...

sounds deep...

sounds intriguing...

sounds motivational, just what I need!

I open it to the "About the Author" page.

Hmm..."a native of Michigan, Lori lives with her husband and a very spoiled cat."

YES. I want her life! I have a husband, now all I need is a cat. A spoiled cat...preferably a black and white cat...one that looks like he's wearing an eternal tuxedo.

"'The Life List' is her first novel."

OOoo! Her very first published novel? I'd love to support that.

Now to further prove my stereotypical "girl-in-her-early-twenties" activity, I picked the book off of the shelf, determined to indulge in it, and waiting in line at the Starbucks for my Pumpkin Spiced Latte. Yes, I am one of those, and yes, I am unashamed.

I sat down and ended up reading to chapter 7! This isn't very much (the chapters are quite short). See, I have a horrible habit of impatiently skimming through books just so I can feel productive with my time. I regrettably do not actually take the time to sound out every word and grasp at their true meanings. So this time around, I wanted to feel what the protagonist is feeling. So that's what I did; I read at a relaxed pace, and I enjoyed the book even more than I expected to!

I absolutely adore Lori's writing style. It's such witty english, and the main character is so overdramatic with her thoughts that I feel like I relate to her.

I even wrote down some of my favourite lines from the book:

"I'd wake the next morning to find ribbons of amber streaming through my lace curtains." Ribbons, amber, and lace! What a gorgeous picture this paints!

"She's left me her champagne for today, and a sliver of her life, her inner thoughts and musings, for tomorrow." It sounds metaphorical, but her mother really did leave her ridiculously expensive bottle of champagne and her journal to her daughter.

"Soothing lucidity..." I am in love with this phrase. There really is comfort in seeing things clearly.

"A dull ache kicks at my temples." This occurs to me at least once a day. Ohh the stress.

"Teetering on the edge of composure." This is also me. I was even tempted to change the subtitle of my blog to this, but I decided I'd better leave the Bible verse there. Rarely I feel like I'm in control of myself...in the lovely state of "composure".

"A lump rises in my throat and I swallow it down with a gulp of coffee." Yup. Don't need to say any more here.

"The proverbial bed they've chosen to lie in is sumptuous and cozy, while mine is lumpy and teeming with bedbugs." I frequently feel this way when I'm comparing my friends lives' with mine; everyone else's life looks comfortable and extravagant, and mine looks "lumpy and teeming with bed bugs", as one might say. Granted, I see others' lives safely from the outside, and I see mine, well, from the inside (gruesome details and all!).

"Why is it that you feel unworthy of your own dreams?" This saddens me, because everyone has felt this way at least one time in their life. We were made in the image of Christ...He has given us these amazing skills and desires...why do we feel so unworthy that we bury our gifts in the ground?

"Where did she go, that fearless, self-assured girl who loved to entertain?...Where did she go? She went where every little girl with big dreams goes. She grew up. She got real." Sometimes I wonder these same things about myself. What is it about life that decides to just put a halt on our dreams? I remember in my first year of University I wanted to be a journalist, but somehow I couldn't make it past the first class. I had that weird feeling in the pit of my stomach, telling me that something just wasn't right. So I got a 2-year Social Sciences degree. Then I quickly realized I had bills to pay, and couldn't easily get a job with that, so I pursued Culinary. I'm super excited to put this education to use (once my Work-Visa comes though, that is), because it's a total blessing to have a job that you love, which also pays the bills. I'm not sure where I was going on this "rabbit trail" of a ramble, but I do know that I do not regret giving up the journalist dream. Even though life is hard and incredibly uncertain right now, I like where I am at. I cherish my education and all the things I have learned, and I love being married and basking in this not-being-able-to-work-right-now stage of my life. My sister put it in such a different light: you have the rest of your life to work, why not enjoy this while you can?

Anyways, I'm not even half-way done "The Life List" yet, but I can't wait to continue reading it.

XoXo Jenny