May 6, 2010

Prelude in G Major from Suite No. 1 -Bach

I'm home now. It's been a long, yet quick few days. Exactly a week ago I was still in BC, cleaning out my dorm room and scratching my initials in the closet (secretly of course).
I've always had this fear that my when I'd come back home, my friends here wouldn't want to talk to me. As if my leaving was an act of betrayal or something. This is just one of my everyday "expect the worst" kind of thoughts. But on my ride home, I can't even tell you how many people texted me asking me "when are you coming home?!" It was actually insane and also relieving. These past few days I've just realized how much I love my friends for giving me so much encouragement and support, and for not ignoring me like I had thought... People can be wonderful.
So here I am at home, in this room. I have this weird sick feeling in my stomach. Maybe it's because I haven't eaten yet...but I really think it's because I'm alone. I'm not used to this. I'm not used to not having someone to talk to who's a couple feet away. I'm not used to these tiny, claustrophobic windows. I miss my dirty, white brick walls. I miss having neighbors right across the hall, I miss the lack of privacy, I miss complaining about homework every second of the day, I miss blowing all my money on protein smoothies, I miss never sleeping in. All in all, I just miss sharing a room for two. This solitude makes me think too much.
On the positive side, I get to play my music as loud as I want, and as annoyingly on repeat as I want. Haha (not that my roomie ever minded hearing Taylor Swift over and over and over again)
But it's OK, these Chris Tomlin songs are reminding me of a few things.
These are a busy two weeks my friends.

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