May 20, 2010

5 AM Thinking.

First of all, don't even ask why I'm awake right now. Trust me, I have no idea why. And getting five hours of sleep is not my idea of fun. Anyway, a few hours ago I was talking with one of my best friends (before we owned the park and all of Corydon Avenue), just sharing a few of my struggles with her, and she told me something that really stuck out to a good and relieving way. What this 24 year old said went something like this, "If I saw myself at your age, 19, walking down the street, I wouldn't even recognize her. The person I am today is SO different from the person I was five years ago, sooooo frickin' different."

This caused my imagination to soar. Just exactly who will I be when I'm 24? Will I finally be the person I've always wanted to be? Will I be doing the things I've always wanted to do? I'm honestly nothing but optimistic about the future, I don't see myself getting myself into hopeless ruts, or getting into stupid trouble. I see achievement, success, wisdom, and experience.

It's just so crazy to imagine myself being 24 years old. That's so incredibly long from now. Maybe I'll be married, living in some foreign country overseas and pregnant with my second child. Maybe my hair won't be so long and so blonde anymore (Heaven forbid). Maybe I'll be able to say that I've kissed under the Eiffel Tower, and road tripped the USA from coast to coast.

Right now, time is on my side. And right now, I'm begging for it to fly by just a little faster. Just for now... because like I said, I can only see things getting better than this. I can only see myself getting closer to the person I want to be, the person God wants me to be. I'm ready for change.

Speaking of which, many things are happening right now. In less than 24 hours I'm hoppin' on a plane to BC, and then I'm heading to Israel the day after with my roomie. I'm there for 3 whole weeks! I'm so excited! 3 weeks in a country I've never ever stepped foot in is exactly what I need right now. I need this adventure, this change, this growth experience. I was considering leaving my laptop at home, you know, taking a break from all things technological (other than my camera of course), but then I told myself that I want to blog every night there, before I go to bed. Just so friends and family can have some idea of what shenanigans I'll be getting myself into.

When I get home, hopefully as a more tanned Jennifer, that is when the job hunt officially starts. Job hunting is nerve-wracking to me; it's scary throwing your whole self onto a paper and then distributing it out to every retail joint in town. It's like one big "am I good enough?" test. Working, mowing the lawn, indulging in literary and visual desserts (books and movies), playing ultimate frisbee with random people at the park, and helping my best friend with her wedding will be my life for the summer months of June, July, and August. September will be when the fun begins. After my best friend gets married (as in, after the most beautiful wedding in the world), I'll be hoppin' on another plane. Honeymoon? No. Bible school in Germany? Yes. GERMANY! My sister attended this same school, so I figured that this idea wasn't too crazy. Remember how nervous I was before going to school in BC? Well this is going to be ten millions times scarier. To be honest, it's slowly starting to hit me, and I have that bittersweet feeling inside of me; excited beyond compare, but scared to death at the same time. What's even scarier is having no idea what I'm doing after this German adventure. I know I'm crazy for thinking so far in advanced when I'm not even close to crossing any bridges, but I think I find satisfaction in freaking myself out. I guess?

So as you can tell, my life is...somethin' else. Who really knows what God was thinking when he wrote my life story, right? If you think you can handle this craziness along with me, then feel free to keep reading this blog, because I'll still be here. Hopefully this blog will be more than just your daily entertainment along with your morning cup of coffee and newspaper. Hopefully I'll be able to offer so much more to you. If not now, then one day.


  1. Israel and Germany!!! Sounds wonderful! I have a travel bug, just like you. I can't get enough of traveling! I wish you all the best on your adventures and I can't wait to read about them!


  2. I can't believe you're going to Germany in the fall! Amazing, but you will be very missed on the west coast.