Sometimes I find any excuse I can to take the collapsed cardboard boxes to the recycling bin outside, just so I can breathe in the fresh morning air and allow time to stand still for just a moment.
It's always nice to escape the chaos of a busy kitchen.
Last Saturday evening, just before dinner was about to begin, I brought out a pile of cardboard and put it in the bin. Rather than going back inside right away I decided I wanted to look out onto the water. The other cooks will be fine without me, I'll only be gone for a few minutes. ;)
Next thing I know I stumble upon two elderly ladies who claim to be "a little lost" and are wondering where the doors are to get back inside. They are both so friendly and adorable that I cannot help but strike up some conversation with them.
This place is absolutely beautiful, you are so lucky to work here! They said. But I'm sure it's not always perfect all of the time...
In my head: Hmm...you're absolutely right. The anxiety I dwell in sometimes pushes me over the edge here. There are some days I leave the kitchen at the end of my shift without saying goodbye to anybody, because I've just plain "had absolutely enough" and never want to talk to another human being again. I get tired of asking questions that I deem important only to be responded with "you're smart, you'll figure it out". (Perhaps I will figure it out, but I'd rather figure it out in the most efficient fashion possible)! Not to mention the stress of cooking for over 200 people by myself weighs heavily on me. And 14 hours is just too many hours to work in one day. There are some days when my shift is over I drive home in complete silence with no radio on, because I can't stand anymore noise. Some days I get home, draw the curtains shut, and pull a blanket over my head so that I can somehow unwind. "I need to unwind" is a sentence I say much too often. My brain is like a plane flying that can't escape the turbulence. Sometimes I'll just stand in the freezer room just to escape and cool off. Other times I'll run to the bathroom, text Jarryd with a "I can't do this anymore" while letting a few relieving stress-tears glide down my cheek.
Out loud: Yes, working here definitely has its good and bad moments, but I just never want to forget how good I have it. You're right it's soooo beautiful here and I never want to take it for granted.
And that's the truth. There really are some seriously--bad--moments here (to say the least), but for the most part the good outweigh the bad.
Now that I've been working here for exactly six months now, every day I feel like I'm getting closer to my co-workers. We have some really good laughs, which honestly makes up for soooo much. When I returned back to work from my two-week-long Canada trip, I was actually missed! As a relationship-oriented person, this feeling of belonging somewhere really "takes the cake".
And at least once a day, "Canada" comes up, and once again I get to talk about my homeland with a little twinkle in my eye. I love it. I'm practically the ambassador of Canada down here. I even whipped out my Canadian coins and 5, 10, and 20 dollar bills and gave a "show and tell" to a bunch of people. Your money is so colorful! You have the Queen on your coins?! When will Kate Middleton be on there too?
I'm also learning so much and have learned so much about the culinary world. My confidence is rising and I like it. Even six months in, I am STILL learning something new every day.
It's also great to be working in a Christian environment that is instilled with morals and values that I believe in. How many people can say that their boss shared a Bible verse with them today? I can. I especially appreciate a Christian environment because I know for a fact I wouldn't last a day in a more secular kitchen...I mean, picture Gordon Ramsay as your expeditor. Terrifying!
Yes, I really do have it good, and right now it seems like it is where I am supposed to be. No, it's definitely not my dream job or anything (keep your fingers crossed that maybe I'll stumble into a bakery one day, siiiigh), but God has given me what I need. (Emphasis on the need).
Today is Monday and I do not go back to work until SATURDAY. I am the happiest girl in the world right now, only because I have the next four days to "unwind" (haha!) and focus on some hobbies of mine. I am so excited for days filled with baking pies, sketching in my new sketchbook, watching The View, having friends over, eating bagels with cream cheese, BLOGGING, and binge-watching Parenthood. Yippee!! <3
Beautiful! You're in the right place at the right time. God always has you where He needs you. One day you'll look back on the hard times and see how they've changed you! I can't believe it's only been 6 months! Feels like you've worked there for forever.
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