April 20, 2010


During my nineteen years of relishing in the gift of life, I have found there to be six types of movie watchers:

1) First, there's the "critic" movie watcher. This is my absolute LEAST favorite personality to watch a movie with. I mean, I'll be sitting there with them, trying to enjoy the movie, and with every line said, they'll barge in with "There's no way he'd still be alive after that, that's stupid!" or "If I guy ever said something like that to me, I'd barf." or "that was the fakest car crash I've ever seen." These people are THEE worst people to watch romance films with; it's like they enjoy crushing every love scene possible, along with your hopes and dreams.

2) Then there's the "clueless" movie watcher. This personality I don't mind as much as the first. Let's say you're both in the theatre, both seeing a movie for the very first time, and you're both very new to as to what this movie entails. Well, this personality is set on leaning in close towards you and asking questions every -give or take- 10 seconds: "Who is that?" or "What is he doing?" or "Why are they going there?!" or "Where are they taking her??" And if you're like me and choose to make the best of your selective hearing abilities and ignore their questions, it happens all over again, like a broken record: "Who is that??" and "What is he doing??!" and "Why are they going there?!!!!" and "Where are they taking her?!?!!????" It's funny because like I said, you've BOTH never even seen the movie before, so when all these questions are being bombarded at you, HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO ANSWER THEM?!

3) Thirdly, there's the "obvious" movie watcher; this one, I'll admit is definitely me. Ever heard of the saying, -in a sarcastic tone- "Yeah, thanks for that, Captain Obvious"? Well that saying is usually been directed at me. Like the label states, us "obvious" movie watchers are determined to point out everything that's obvious/clearly evident/manifest/transparent in a movie. Some popular lines are: "This is so cute" or "She looks amazing in that dress" or "Wow, that sky scraper is so tall" or "Did you see that look?! He's totally in love with her!!" We enjoy the satisfaction of knowing that our eyes and ears are up to par. And that maybe, just maybe, the person we're with DOES agree that indeed, Zac Efron sure knows how to wear jeans in High School Musical 3. (Just sayin')

4) Then there's the "obnoxiously loud" movie watchers. Now that I think of it, this personality is almost as low on my list of favorites beside the "critical" movie watcher. We have ALL experienced this one; You know the heavy-breathing, popcorn-bag rummaging, constant-sniffling, over-emphasized-almost-fake laughing, cell-phone clicking, off-tune singing, pepsi-can slurping, every-single-line reciting, completely-oblivious-to-their-surroundings kind of people who have you convinced their hearing-aids at a low minimum. It's like they're trying to create their own soundtrack for the movie or something.

5) Oh and you can't forget about the "prophet" movie watchers. The ones who would thrive at weather forecasting with a crystal ball in their hands. I swear that their number one goal on this earth is to predict every scene in the movie five seconds before it happens. Some actually prefer to pause the movie, grab your full attention, and lay out the whole plot before your eyes. (this has never happened to me, but I don't doubt its existence) The best is when their predictions deem correct, and a million "I TOLD YOU SO" 's stream from their mouth like vomit, along with some kind of a victory dance. It's like their life's integrity was just reached at that very moment.

6) And lastly, there's the "silent" movie watchers. These kind of people like to forget that you, along with the world, exist. I find that these movie personalities to be boring. Yes, I do get that you're trying to "escape from reality" by concentrating on the movie or something deep like that, but you're socially inept. It's easy to realize that these personalities clash with my "obvious" personalities. When I point out that I like the lush scenery in the movie, I like to be acknowledged with some feedback. I see movies as a chance to bond and connect; these people see movies as an opportunity to portray at me their finest glares.

There you have it, my six types of movie watchers. And there's no doubt in your mind that one of these is your kindred spirit, your child, your long lost twin, your womb-mate, your bosom buddy, ...your essence. Think long, think hard.


  1. hehe this list is funny. kudos for putting it together.

  2. I feel like I'm a mix of some of these. I can sit and watch a movie in silence, but I often like to make commentary. Not an obsessive amount, just maybe a note or an observation. And note through the whole movie, maybe just at two or three parts. So I don't really know what category I fall into. These all seem like extremes, but I definitely know the types.

    I must say that my least favourite is "clueless" watchers.

  3. haha. i'm a mix between the critic and the silent. i'm either really cynical or really into it. you would probably hate watching a movie with me :)

  4. I rather enjoyed this list. :) I think I would probably fall somewhere between the silent and obvious types, with a touch of critic, depending on my mood. I like commenting, but not an excessive amount.

    I think this is also a location thing too. I know that I watch movies differently in the theatres and at home; home is definitely much more open to commenting/discussing!

  5. Well.
    There are times when I like it to be silent; completely so. Even when someone is wearing an overly-gorgeous dress.
    But, there are times when (with the right people) I can make a comment/criticism about something anywhere between every ten minutes to every hour. It all depends on which people I'm with and which movie is being viewed!
    'All About Steve' actually requires a sarcastic commentary because of how badly the script was written and how horribly the actors do their thing.
    A movie like 'Pride & Prejudice' needs total silence (for me, anyway) because it is the type of plot that requires one to use their brain in order to keep up with the story line (and I'm talking about the old, 6-hour P&P).

    However, I did enjoy this list, and I agree with the types of personalities. :D

  6. Great post! A little bit of any of these is fine but I must say I have friends who fall specifically within 1 or 2 of these and I simply refuse to watch movies with them. Only they don't know that. Do please don't tell them...

  7. bahahahhaha.
    I am NOT fessing up.
    I definitely make comments...pretty obvious ones.
    I also like to sing if I know the song...or really regardless if I do or not.
    I'm not so sure if I found my bosom buddy though. shoot.