May 11, 2017

Why I Love Being Married.

This has been an immensely busy season for Jarryd and I. Both of us have so many different things going on, making life not so easy breezy these days. On my drive home from one of my many obligations, this time of busyness got me thinkin'...I knew that Jarryd was already home from work and that he would be there awaiting my arrival. Just the thought of having someone to welcome me home when I step foot into our apartment after such a crazy day lead me to this conclusion: I'm so thankful I don't have to do this alone!

Marriage is fantastic--tough at times, but incredibly rewarding. The best things in life come with commitment and hard work, no? So in no particular order, I decided to write a list of my favourite things about marriage:

1. You have someone you can be your total self around and have the comforting knowledge that they'll love you unconditionally. I know for me, I am NOT my total self with most people. I'm pretty sure that if I were, they'd never want to hang out with me again. I'm not referring to the flowery "Be Yourself" or "Love Yourself" because you're such a unique and special snowflake. I'm talkin' about the crankiness, the cynicism, the breakdowns, the venting, the neglected hygiene (showers are such a hassle, y'all), the ugly sobbing, and the complaining. My husband--(and maaaaybe my siblings) are the only people on earth who will ever see that fallen and humanly side of me. And guess what? I know they'll always love me and I'll always love them!

2. You always have someone to watch TV with. Some of my favourite evenings consist of coming home from work, ordering our favourite take-out (either pizza, Chinese, or McDonalds--these details are important), and literally doing nothing but talking, laughing, and watching a great show together. (Until I fall asleep, that is--for some reason I am ALWAYS the first to doze off on the couch...I never used to be this way, guys. I'm getting old!) Right now our current TV show of choice is Friends...once again.
Side note: we are constantly pointing at each other during this show saying "that's SO you", and we've come to the conclusion that Jarryd is 1 part Chandler and 1 part Joey (not Ross, thank goodness!). And I am a solid mix of the three girls Rachel, Phoebe, and Monica; I have Rachel's emotions, Phoebes sweetness/quirkiness/flightiness, and Monica's cynicism.
Moving on.

3. You can carry each others' burdens. For example, let's say I have the worst sleep in the world, and then I have the worst day at work possible. Jarryd knows full well that I am not in any condition to do anything when I get home. He then carries the responsibility of grocery shopping and/or cooking that evening. This is such an awesome part about marriage because back when I was single, if I had the worst day at work, I would still have to go out and buy all the groceries, and then come home and cook dinner for myself. But now, Jarryd can do it for me, and vice versa! We know each other well and know when the other person needs a break, some time-off, and an evening of pampering.

4. Cuddles, snuggles, massages, and bed-time. Enough said. (And for the Friends fans out there, snuggles are great, but I'm totally all about the "hug and roll"technique--I like my space when it comes to falling asleep.)

5. You're part of the best team in the world. Two peas in a pod. The ultimate partnership. Best friends. Companions. Different in so many ways and yet the same in so many ways, either way your differences complement one another. And the special bond we share is 100% exclusive, meant for just the two of us. What a blessing!! When we're going through conflict, something we always try to remind each other of is "we are not against each other, we are a team".

6. You get to step out of your comfort zone and try new things--things that you never would have done otherwise! One example that I can think of now off the top of my head is because of Jarryd I...moved to Maryland, USA. I highly doubt I would have ever done this otherwise if he wouldn't have become my husband. Also, can we just talk about how much sports knowledge I've accumulated over our three years of marriage? Because I'm married to a sports fanatic, I feel like I'm constantly in the "know" when it comes to current events in the sports world. Soccer, hockey, golf, you name it. (Trust me, I probably wouldn't know about Tom Brady's horrible-i'd-rather-die-than-attempt-this-for-even-a-day diet that he and his wife are on, if it weren't for Jarryd).
7. Never having to go through it alone and the strong feeling of safety that comes with that. Planning a wedding was nerve-wracking, but I wasn't alone in it. Moving to the US was scary, but I wasn't alone. Surviving unemployment was difficult (understatement of the year), but we had each other. Going for that job interview was terrifying, but I had Jarryd to encourage me. Jarryd losing his grandparents this year was very hard for him, but he had me to talk to and just be there for him. Not knowing what life has in store for us is a little unsettling, but we know we're in this together and with God we have nothing to fear.

8. You have someone who will tell you the honest truth, even when it hurts. It's not often that your friends will give you total honesty, because friends don't like to hurt each others' feelings. And of course, husbands and wives don't desire to hurt one anothers' feelings but we don't fear speaking honestly because we know that if we don't, things may never change. If gone about the right way, we do it out of love. Example, I tell Jarryd when he should probably think about brushing his teeth; and Jarryd will tell me when it's about time I shave my legs. (Too much information?) I mean, it goes deeper than that. In fact, it goes SO deep that I'm not going to share an example to the public. But what I will say is that you can't grow as a person if you don't know which areas you need growing in, and I think that's the beautiful thing about spouses; we're not afraid to give each other little (OR BIG) nudges every now and then and point us in the right direction--towards Christ.

9. Going on dates. I remember our first post-marriage date and how awesome the feeling was when we realized we wouldn't have to go our separate ways that night--or ever again for that matter! We've been married almost three years now and I still get excited at the thought of being able to go home together. And some people think that once you get married the dating stops. NO! Dating is so important for marriage because you step outside of your day-to-day bubble of routine and responsibilities. And I'm not saying a fancy steak dinner at an expensive restaurant is the ideal date (although Ruth's Chris would be amazing right about now!); in fact, some of our favourite dates where Jarryd and I have the best talks/emotional connection are when we just go on walks or drives together.

10. You have someone to do the not-so-fun tasks for you. Guys, I'm SERIOUS about this one! One of the best things about marriage is always having someone to kill a spider, change your oil, replace a tire, call up the mechanic, pick up emergency bags of chips or McDonalds (yes, this happens), take out the trash, and clean the toilets for you. The list goes on and on, but I've never been happier knowing that I never have to kill another gross bug again!

11. One of the best feelings in the world is to know and be known, and that's what marriage is. It's a pretty amazing feeling to know that Jarryd knows me more than anyone else, and I know him more than anyone else. I could tell you all of his pet peeves, how he takes his coffee, how he takes his sandwiches, his biggest fear, his insecurities (which I always think are ridiculously untrue!), stories from his childhood, stories from his high school years (gahhh! haha!), his favourite sports teams, and his daily routines. These are things that I truly care about and am really the only person who cares about ALL these things. It's also kinda fun because we're always changing, growing, and (hopefully) improving, so you never get bored with one another--there's always something new to learn!

12. OH and I can't believe I almost forgot this one. One of the best things about being married, is celebrating your wedding anniversary! I'll take any excuse to go on a weekend getaway, stay at a bed and breakfast, explore a new city, go to the movies, get some brunch, or just stay in and have a LOTR marathon. Celebrating your wedding anniversary is like celebrating your own personal holiday--and no one else is invited.
Jarryd and I have been married for going on three years (next month!) and we've already been through so much together. <---Key word, together! Marriage is truly a gift from God and even after writing and putting together this list I am reminded of its beauty, and am ever so thankful. Is there anything you guys would add to this list? I'd love to hear your favourite things about marriage! Comment below, friends. Thank you :)

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