Trials & Tribulations

Right now I am in this stage of life where I'm 21 and have almost completed three years of college...and I STILL have no idea what I'm going to do.

Sometimes I go to bed happy and motivated because I feel like I have everything figured out; I have a plan mapped out in my head, and I'm ready to pursue it.

But sometimes I go to bed in tears because I feel like I've failed in this stage of life. Society tells me that I should be completed college with a degree by now, I should be financially independent, I should have a career landed already, I should be moved out of my parents house, and I should be exactly who I have always planned to be.

And because I'm not ANY of those things, I just fall into a pit of frustration because the gap between my actual self and my ideal self is much too large for my liking.

I pray that God would give me some direction...God, where are you in all of this? Why is figuring my major out, college, work, living situation, and money so difficult for me and yet so easy for some of my friends?

Then something one of my friends said to me tonight really hit me: at the end of your life you are going to stand before God and the only thing that is going to matter at that point is what your relationship with Jesus Christ was like throughout your life.

God is not going to ask me how much money I saved up or gave away. He's not going to ask me if my major in college lead me into a successful career or if I was able to move into my own apartment before I turned 25. Society's standard of "success" is something that God certainly does not care about. He only cares about how I loved Him and how I loved others with His love.

I gotta admit, loving God is so easy during the good times. When things are easy and the sun is shining, it really feels like God is looking out for me especially that day. But what about the hard times? We are called to love God through the hard times: "love endures ALL things".

By loving God through all the hard times, your relationship with Him grows and grows stronger than ever before!

It took me awhile, but I finally realized that what I'm going through in this stage is a hard time. No, it's nothing compared to the poverty or homelessness of the world, but it's hard for me and where I'm at in my life. I am going through a TRIAL and the Bible is filled with verses about depending on God during trials, such as:

James 1:12 "blessed is the man who remains steadfast under TRIAL, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who LOVE Him."

Romans 12:12 "rejoice in hope, be patient in TRIBULATION, be constant in prayer."

James 1:2-3 "count it all as joy my brothers, when you meet TRIALS of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness."

I've realized I haven't been confident in God. I haven't had faith that He has great plans for me and that He is always here to guide me and that He will make everything OK.

I currently have a few hopeful plans set up for my life after this college semester wraps up in April...I have a few ideas. But this time I'm giving them to God...because if He wants them to happen, then he will make them happen! If they don't happen, then I know He has something else out there planned for me. God's plans aren't always my plans, but you know what? His are so much better!!