Hello Dolly Bars

Yesterday we decided to spontaneously invite Jarryd's parents over for supper! (The apartment was clean, so why not?) :P We have been dying to watch The Crown series on Netflix, and we knew that it would be a type of show that my in-laws would like, so we thought we'd make a whole evening of it! (I think that anyone who fancies Downton Abbey would certainly like The Crown). I mean, I was HOOKED already on the first episode--and it may or may not have been Hans Zimmer's astounding score that did me over. (Fun fact about me: I have a serious love for film score composers such as Hans Zimmer, John Williams, and James Horner to name just a few).

ANYWAY...with our dinner menu already all planned out, we hopped on over to the grocery store to pick up some steaks, sweet potatoes, and asparagus (did you know that the plural form of asparagus is actually just asparagus? Surprisingly, I didn't). Unfortunately we had the meal all figured out but had nothing for dessert! Not having dessert isn't the end of the world or anything, but I hate having guests over and not having any dessert or post-dinner sweets to offer them. I feel like it's so not me to not have sweets around.

It's always a little intimidating cooking/baking for my father-in-law because he's such a foodie and an incredible cook. But it's so nice to have people in my life who are not afraid to give me an honest opinion on my creations. And because they've tried so much of my baking already, I wanted to offer them a recipe that was tried-and-true, one that they'd never had from me before, and ESPECIALLY one that I could realistically and effortlessly whip together in a short amount of time. Standing there in the fresh meat aisle of the grocery store it suddenly came to me--Hello Dolly Bars!

I have made these bars a handful of times and they're always incredibly satisfying! My in-laws had never even heard of them before, so I wouldn't be surprised if you hadn't either. They're sweet, rich, and decadent bars made of the most amazing layers, starting with:

a buttery graham crust

semi-sweet chocolate chips

crunchy chopped pecans

sweet and chewy coconut flakes

and then poured over these layers is a can of sweetened condensed milk. *insert heart eyes here*

SO FAST. (10 minutes prepping, 30 minutes baking)

SO EASY. (The most "laborious" thing I had to do was grind the graham crackers in the food processor because I didn't buy the already-made graham crumbs, and melt butter on the stove!) Oh, and even better, they only require six ingredients!

AND SO DELICIOUS. (Anything made with sweetened condensed milk is going to taste AH-MAZING right?!)

Therefore, it was the perfect dessert to make for a spur-of-the-moment dinner party! And thankfully, these bars were a hit! Even the two non-coconut lovers loved them!

So, if you're looking for a dessert recipe that's simple, quick, freezes well, and has an amazing array of textures and incredible mouthfeel, this is the one for you!

HELLO DOLLY BARS RECIPE (Yields 12 bars)

(Recipe from Serious Eats)

1 cup of butter/2 sticks (I used salted butter)

3 cups graham cracker crumbs (14 oz box)

2 cups dark or semi-sweet chocolate chips

2 cups chopped pecans

3 cups sweetened shredded or flaked coconut

1 (14 oz) can of sweetened condensed milk

1. Adjust oven rack to middle middle position and preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

2. Melt the butter and then combine melted butter with graham crumbs in a bowl until thoroughly combined.

3. Press mixture into an even layer on bottom of 9 x 13 baking dish.

4. Top crust with chocolate chips, then pecans, then coconut, and then drizzle with sweetened condensed milk.

5. Bake in oven for about 30 minutes (or until coconut is a beautiful golden toasted brown). Remove from oven and let cool completely. To cut easily, let sit in refrigerator for 1 hour, and then cut and serve. (Best served chilled!)

Thanks for reading, guys! And seriously, let me know if you make this or if you've tried them before. I'd love to know what you think! Oh, and the steak, roasted sweet potato, and parmesan asparagus dinner tasted pretty good too. ;) OH and we managed to watch three episodes of The Crown before deciding to be smart, responsible adults and call it a night. I can't wait to get together and watch more!!

Change.

Isn't it interesting how we're always changing? I am not the girl that I was 6 years ago, the girl who had visions of one day living in tiny apartments in big cities, walking to class everyday pursuing a career in journalism.
People who know me now, probably read that sentence with MUCH confusion. Even as I just typed that it felt almost out-of-body-esque. Me? A journalist? The 5% of me that is an insane-grammar-freak is like "YES! I LOVE that career choice!" but the other 95% of me is like "no thank you, that sounds like an anxiety-inducing nightmare".
And small-town-country-loving-Jenny living in a city?! I think if I had plans to have absolutely zero children, then maybe, just maybe I could chance a life of city living (I'm no Amber Fillerup, believe it or not). :P

I did 4 years of Bible college/university/school for many reasons but a large reason was to find a husband find some direction in my life career-wise. Half way through this schooling I had visions of pursuing some type of counselling career. And hey, as an INFJ personality type, I have counselling written all.over.me. Even the other day my co-worker told me that I have the gift of listening and I was like, "thank you!" and he was like "don't thank me, thank God for giving that to you!" (I appreciate the fact that I know how to listen, but truthfully...somedays I wish I had the gift of talking. I feel like it could take me places, you know?) :P But something about picturing myself with a 9-5 office job listening to clients heavy life stories for five days a week, didn't sit well with me. Believe me, I wish it did. One of my really good friends is a therapist and her job sounds incredibly rewarding and fulfilling and she's doing amazing things in people's lives but I am just so confident that it's not my calling.

And then...Pinterest came into existence and opened my eyes of a whole new world of cooking, baking, food styling, and food photography. THAT looks beautiful, fun, practical, and intriguing! Finally a career choice that my creative gene could latch onto and actually attain. Now, four years of practice in the kitchen and one culinary certificate later, I've found myself with a "9-5" job in the food industry as a cook/chef.

And now, after almost two years of working in commercial kitchens I'm finding myself wanting to get out of it. Yep. Spending 8 and a 1/2 hours a day, 5 days a week at a physically-demanding job is really starting to wear on me. What I really want is to pursue baking and it's hard when your full-time job is robbing you of all your energy. Truthfully, an office job looks pretty good right now. I wonder what it would be like to come home from work (an office job) and still have the physical energy to spend all evening in my kitchen on my feet working on my baking skills? I do wonder if this is even a plausible idea or would my mental energy then take a tumble?

So back to my first statement: isn't it interesting how we're always changing? I went from wanting to be a journalist to being a counsellor, to being a chef, to now dreaming of baking cakes, cupcakes, and all things pretty! It all sounds drastic when you lay it out like that, but the more I think about it, the more I feel like I haven't really changed that much. Yes, I let the dream of journalism go, but I've still held on to my love and passion for writing--with this blog of mine. I let the dream of counselling go, but I still have a huge place in my heart for people, friendships, encouraging, loving, and listening--with this blog, but more-so in my everyday life with those I interact with. I'm considering letting the dream of being chef in a commercial kitchen go--quite gradually--but I'm for sure going to hold on to everything that I have learned about the food industry; because much of what that skill and knowledge can be carried on into the business of cake decorating.

I'm curious to see how much I will have changed five years from now! Will I have dropped cake decorating for something even more attainable, like...bioengineering? (Kidding.) I'm also excited to see how much Jarryd will change in five years--maybe he'll finally pursue his long-time dream of country music singin'. (Kidding, I think?)

Change is good. I'm telling myself this as I just realized in 5 years I will be 30 years old. Gulp. Change is good, Jennifer.

We're Baaaaack!

Hey everyone! Jarryd and I are officially back from our 2016 Canadian Thanksgiving trip! Well, we've actually been back since this past Monday but who's keeping track?

The first indication that we were back in America was the weather. Holy smokes--it was wonderful stepping off the plane to feel the warm, humid air soak into my face like a sponge! (This is a no-sarcasm zone, by the way. I'm being completely serious when I say I love humidity!)

And then, driving on the interstate felt SO good. My Canadian hometown has nothing even close to an Interstate so driving in the US is such a treat for me! I often feel the need for speed and after a long flight it was just what I needed. I love going 130 km/hr in my little white honda. It was great, UNTIL we came to a complete stop as there was an accident ahead of us. Instead of a 45 minute drive back to our apartment, it was a 2 hour drive back. And what's worse is we got home at 8 pm and had to ready ourselves for work the next day. Ugh. And I'll have you know, we were SO smart when planning this trip. Our return flight was for Saturday, which would have given us a whole day of rest before we had to go back to work. But, when our return flight got cancelled due to "lavatory maintenance" (whatever that means), our careful planning all went out the window! But it was a TOTAL blessing because we got to spend more time in Canada with friends and family. (Also, missing work on Monday meant a short work week too! Yay!)

I finally unpacked my suitcase. Can somebody please give me a reward for this? In Starbucks PSL form? Unpacking is hard, especially when you leave it for almost a week and you forget what's clean and what's dirty. Although, unpacking this time around was kinda fun because one of my best friends (who has a killer sense of style!) gave me a truckload of her old clothes, so it was like unwrapping a giant suitcase-shaped present full of gorgeous "new" clothes!  * heart eyes *

Oh, and did I mention that I'm sick with a cold? I have visited Canada a total of 3 times since moving to the US and I have gotten sick a total of 3 times on these trips. Can you believe it?! Every. Single. Time. It never fails!
Honestly, I fully expected to be sick this time, so halfway through the trip when I woke up with a scratchy throat, I rolled my eyes and said "here we go, again!". "See ya in a few days, voice. I'll miss you!" And when I say sick, I mean getting an awful hacking-type-of-cold and losing my voice.
I'm either getting sick from the humid US-to-dry Canada climate change, or I'm getting sick from sitting in a winged-germ-tube airplane where you breathe everyone elses air for several hours. :P

You guys, I definitely experienced my introvert hangover in the middle of our trip. IN THE MIDDLE. How awful is that? Introvert hangover = "a withdrawal into oneself brought on by overstimulation" (as said by Introvert Dear). Making plans to see so many different people and never having a moment alone during the day can be pretty exhausting (especially when you're sick with a real hoarse voice!). I mean, we were dividing our days into 3+ sections just to make time to see everyone! I definitely started feeling stressed about my lack of time/energy/health. But what I've learned over the years is that you can't use your introversion as a crutch or an excuse. For example, I could have cancelled plans with people, but that would have been SO dumb. (I'm sorry but "dumb" is the only word I could think of right now). I would have come back to the US with so much guilt and regret for choosing to recharge over seeing people I haven't seen in MONTHS. It's honestly just a conscious choice you have to make, a choice to just get over your exhaustion, because by the time you lay eyes on your long-distance friends all of the tiredness instantly disappears! :) Can anyone else relate with me on this one? I'm so proud of myself for not letting it get to me either, all I did was say to my Mom "I'm stressed", and that was that! High five to myself!

On a lighter, less phlegmy note, it's so nice coming back to colourful leaves on the trees! Where we were, (near Winnipeg), a majority of the fall leaves were already off the trees and on the ground. :'( Fall literally lasts a second there, haha! And I feel like it's just beginning here in Maryland! YAY!

What's also cool is that I used PAID VACATION. Haha I know I know, I'm 25 and only experiencing the joys of paid vacation now, blah blah. But it's a big deal to me! A whole week off of work and I'm still getting paid for it?! Amazing! (I'm such an adult now, it's nuts!) The unfortunate part is that I used up all of my vacation until next October. LOL. It's going to be a loooong year guys...

Also, a whole week without having to go to work = a whole week of being able to do my hair and makeup and wear nice clothes during the day and feel pretty again! And LIPSTICK--I got to wear lipstick like everyday! But Jenny, why don't you wear makeup to work? Trust me, in my profession there's absolutely no point. Why would I wake up any earlier than I have to just so I can wear makeup that's going to get sweated off? This paragraph would be what I'd give the #itsthelittlethings hashtag to. It's the little things in life that can give one joy.

I hung out with 4 babies and 1 toddler on this trip (all girls, by the way), and I think I'm officially ready to be a mom. Hahah. Now, don't you dare take me the wrong way! :P I'm not saying that we're "trying" or whatever; what I'm saying is that it doesn't seem so far-fetched anymore. Here in Maryland, we have only 1 friend who has a kid. Back in Canada, we have only 1 friend who DOESN'T have a kid. When you're surrounded by a huge community of young parents with babies you definitely start to feel the "itch", you know? LOL. I'll let y'all know what happens...

Anyway, after a pretty good four days of work, today is Saturday and I've been doing absolutely nothing! Nothing, except for sleeping in, unpacking, two loads of laundry, two cups of coffee, grocery shopping, replacing my MacBook Pro battery (all by myself, thank you very much!), dishes, cleaning, and now---blogging! OH and how could I forget: Hallmark channel has been playing in the background all afternoon. Hee Hee.

It's good to be back, friends! :) OH and I plan to post a blog entry about our trip with all kinds of photos. Stay tuned.

Thank You.

It's been a strange week, inside of the mind of Jenny, that is. No odd events have occurred and nothing out of the ordinary has sprung up in my life; it's all just been weird inside of my head.

Being a hopeless introvert I tend to live inside of my head. I tend to pull up a chair and stay for awhile within the "comforts" of my own brain and then get up and leave when I feel ready and satisfyingly rejuvenated. But this week, I actually pitched a tent in my head (and I do not fancy camping in the least so I don't know why I'd ever even consider pitching a tent, but it's my brain, what can I do?), and stayed inside the walls of my skull for a very long time. Too long, in fact.

Introspection is a good thing. It's healthy to examine your own mental and emotional wellbeing and work to keep it intact. But too much dwelling within-the-minds-eye is when things get a little crazy. Trust me, I LOVE to be inside of my head. I love to process the interactions I have with people or events, envision the potentials of my future, seek out new dreams and goals, and just mull over my current life just as everything is. I enjoy all of this so much, in fact I NEED to do this in order to stay sane, but when I spend too much time analyzing and questioning anything and everything, that is when my joy takes a dangerous turn into bitterness, worry, grief, anxiety, and just plain unhappiness.

Is there anyone out there who can relate with me on this? (I know you're out there somewhere!)

An example of something in my life that I allowed to go from a joyful event to sorrowful one, is my upcoming trip to Canada. (If you didn't know, Canadian Thanksgiving is coming up quick and Jarryd and I are vacationing there for a week! YAY!) Anybody who knows me KNOWS that I am crazy excited for this trip. But a few days ago I found myself DREADING it. DREAD-ING. How?! Why?! This is going to sound so silly to you guys, but I knew that going back to Canada and enjoying my time seeing my family and my best friends again...meant saying goodbye AGAIN. And because it's Maryland's turn for Christmas holidays this year, it would be one of those "goodbye, I don't know when I'll ever see you again so...until who-knows-when so take care of yourself! See ya?!" :(

I honestly could cry right now as I've been typing all of this out, but I'm gonna keep it together, people!

My mind takes me on such insane trails that my sad obsession with the future goodbyes completely overshadowed how GOOD this trip is going to be. I shouldn't be dreading something I should be thankful for. And believe me, I'm so excited, thankful to God, and so happy that Jarryd and I get to spend an entire week in the best country ever  Canada. ;) <3 This whole ordeal was one of those times where I just needed to tell my brain to "shut up" and allow my heart to be a heart of thankfulness again.

So there was that. And then there was this overwhelming feeling of lostness...

Adrift.

Disoriented.

Misplaced.

Hidden.

Invisible.

Strayed.

Wandering.

Off-course.

I've lived here in Maryland for over two years and quite often feel all-of-the-above. (Is that too honest, or what?) I don't feel like I've found my place. I don't feel like I fit in. Amidst unattractive wet sobs I have said to Jarryd, "I've never felt so different in my life". To be honest I didn't think I'd feel much culture-shock moving here, but I feel it now, two years in more than ever.

When I feel like I'm different from everyone else and out of place, I begin to question everything about myself and my identity. I begin to feel like I'm losing who I am because I feel like familiarity is far and few between.

Fortunately, there are these times though when I meet someone new and feel a wonderful and warm connection with them and then I instantly have so much joy because I don't feel so out of place anymore. It feels like familiarity. It feels like my desire to know and especially be known is being fulfilled. I feel that sense of belonging that every soul on earth craves. There are seriously some wonderful people out there and I wish I could be surrounded by them all of the time.

Alas, I wish I felt that welcoming feeling from everyone I encountered. Unfortunately, many people I interact with make me feel like I'm too quiet. I'm too young. Like I need to build myself some thicker skin. Like I need to be more sarcastic, more obnoxious, and more aggressive in the way I speak. More crude. Never keep a serious conversation. Make everything a joke, yet don't smile too much. Make fun of everyone around me. Stop being so joyful. Keep a record of wrongs of every single person. Swing your moods a little more. Rid myself of all gentleness and learn to fight a good verbal fight.

I'm sure I've shared this quote before but I'm going to share it again because I LOVE IT:

I begin to question my talents, gifts, and skills until my mind decides for me that they're not actually talents, gifts, and skills. That I'm just a fake, pretending like I know what I'm doing. Or that I'm just kidding myself! But I know my God is bigger than my doubts, and according to Him I'm work of art and can create works of art. Please brain, you need to quiet down!

I know there are people out there like me, who feel the same way I do. Who believe that yes, the world is beautiful and that kindness, warmth, and welcoming-ness all go a long way.

As found in Galatians 5:22-23 But the Fruit of the Spirit is:

Love.

Joy.

Peace.

Patience.

Kindness.

Self-Control.

Gentleness.

Goodness.

Faithfulness.

Instead of feeling lost, I want to feel all of the things above! I want to be the Fruits of the Spirit. And I can because my identity and sense of belonging are not found in where I live, who I know, or what I do. My identity is in Jesus and I absolutely refuse to let anyone around me change that, because they can't.

I'm thankful for the little BIG thoughts that God pops into my head to remind me of His promises.
I'm thankful to Jarryd for always always always being my proverbial "home away from home", he is my biggest sense of familiarity here in Maryland, and my best friend in the whole entire world.
I'm thankful to the people who have shown such great kindness to me, for giving me "mom hugs" and making me giggle with their "dad jokes".
I'm thankful for the--seldom--cashiers who carry on a conversation with me as if we've known each other forever (Dear Starbucks cashier, I don't even know your name but I'm pretty sure we're best friends. Thank you for bonding with me over Pumpkin Spice Lattes).
Thank you to the friends who aren't afraid to talk about the hard things. Thank you for your authenticity and not pretending to be perfect.
Thank you to the people who SMILE and say HELLO.
Thank you to the few people here who actually get my sense of humour. (It's a rare humour but it's actually the best, hee hee!)
Thank you to the girls who let me into the soccer game for free because I forgot to bring cash. Your act of kindness blew me away and it's not forgotten.
Thank you to my long-distance friends/sisters/family who don't mind me venting to them about how hard it gets here sometimes. Thank you for listening, encouraging, and always pointing me to the Truth! (You know who you are!!)
And thank you to the ones who take the time to read my blog. I know I don't always make alot of sense. I know I can be quite vague at times, more mysterious than I'd like to be, but I appreciate you guys hearing reading me out. I get so much joy out of blogging and I appreciate each and every one of you and the encouraging comments and private messages you send me. Your words seriously make my day!! <3

See brain! There's always SOMETHING to be thankful for. Always something to feel joy about. God is so good. :)

Vienna Waits For You.

Slow down you crazy child,

You're so ambitious for a juvenile

But then if you're so smart tell me,

Why are you still so afraid?

Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?

You better cool it off before you burn it out

You got so much to do and only

So many hours in a day

But you know that when the truth is told

That you can get what you want

Or you can just get old

You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through

When will you realize... Vienna waits for you?

Slow down you're doing fine

You can't be everything you want to be before your time

Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight

Too bad, but it's the life you lead

You're so ahead of yourself that you forgot what you need

Though you can see when you're wrong

You know you can't always see when you're right

You got your passion, you got your pride

But don't you know that only fools are satisfied?

Dream on, but don't imagine they'll all come true

When will you realize... Vienna waits for you?

Slow down you crazy child

Take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while

It's alright, you can afford to lose a day or two

When will you realize... Vienna waits for you?

{Billy Joel}

P.S- Any other 90's kids else get major cravings to watch 13 Going On 30 after hearing this song?! I LOVE IT!!

The Lion & The Lamb.

"Our God is the Lion, the Lion of Judah,

He's roaring with power and fighting our battles;

And every knee will bow before You.

Our God is the Lamb, the Lamb that was slain,

For the sin of the world, His blood breaks the chains,

And every knee will bow before the Lion and the Lamb."

This SONG by Big Daddy Weave is amazing, you guys! As a way to conquer some of the negativity in my life I've devoted most of my commutes to and from work to listening to K-LOVE Radio. If you've never heard of it, it's only thee best Christian radio station, ever. And if you don't get it on your radio where you live, you can actually listen online HERE. {They also share awesome stories of people doing random acts of kindness and just helping others; it's so refreshing to hear GOOD things in the news, you know?}

This song very much overwhelms my soul and emotions with awe and gratefulness. I'm in awe of such an incredible God, He's a God who is BOTH a selfless and gentle lamb, and a fierce powerful lion. He came into this world, born in a stable. The most humble of beginnings I would say!
That's just one thing that separates Jesus Christ from other gods and religions; He spent His life serving others and was never on a pursuit of fame, earthly success, or money. His pursuit was servanthood, to love others, to glorify His Father in Heaven, and of course what encompasses the former three: to be the world's salvation!

And I'm just grateful that a God like that loves me and that's he's fighting my battles {like the song says}. To say that I'm GRATEFUL for the Saviour of the world fighting my battles, is such an understatement! Gahhh! How else can I put it though?! No words will ever do it justice! <3

Everytime I listen to this song it just makes me want to know my Lord and Saviour better. He gave everything so that He could know me, so why shouldn't I be doing the same?

Groceries.

Life has been BUSY you guys! Jarryd and I both work full-time jobs with pretty similar hours. After work he's got his soccer-coaching gig and I've got my cake-decorating gig. It's a GOOD kind of busy because we're busy doing the things we love! It's pretty sweet how we've both learned so much about each others' passions in the short time we've been married. Jarryd didn't know how much work actually went into baking and decorating cakes and cupcakes, and I certainly didn't know how much thought and strategy went into being a soccer coach. I've never heard so much about 4-3-3 and 4-3-2 and 2-3-1 and 9-0-2-1-0 formations in my life! {HA, I totally made that last one up.} ;)

Whenever Jarryd and I have a spare moment together it's usually spent eating our supper in front of the tv and enjoying some Gilmore Girls, and then occasionally pausing it to talk about how our days went. We just can't get enough!! Besides bedtime, that is absolutely our favourite time of the day! <3

I can just feel that Fall is right around the corner because I'm gettin' that undeniable craving to listen to all of Taylor Swifts' albums, new and old. It can't be stopped, you guys! The second reason that I know fall is around the corner is because the grocery store FINALLY released Pumpkin Spice coffee creamer. Apparently I missed the memo because the first time I checked, all they had left was the Sugar-Free version {blech!}. But the second time, they were fully stocked with extra-sugary Pumpkin Spice creamer. Mmm... I'm drinking it as I type actually.

It's actually a good thing I bought that creamer because it saves me money in the long run. For example, the thought of dropping by Starbucks on my commute home from work lingered in my mind UNTIL I remembered I had Pumpkin Spice creamer waiting for me at home. Why buy the milk when you already have the cow at home, right? {HA! Did I butcher that "saying" or what?!}

But then I'm seriously conflicted inside because the Starbucks PSL won't be around forever, so why wouldn't I just get it while I can, right?! Sigh...

Speaking of the grocery store, I am there ALL THE TIME. For real! It's because every time I get a cake order there's always some type of ingredient that I need to stock up on. Well, yes that's true, but it's not the whole truth. Whenever we run out of chips I head to grocery store. Yes, chips are the only reason I need to go grocery shopping. {Lately I've been really into Doritos Spicy Sweet Chili--but you didn't actually need to know that...unless you feel the need to send me some in the mail?! Yes?!}

Also, seeing as I am person of routine, I really wish I had ONE grocery store to shop at. You know? Like one that has every single item that you need, all at a great price. But I don't! I actually jump around four different grocery stores. Not in ONE trip, silly. In one trip I'll jump to a maximum of two stores. I alternate depending on what I need.
1) Aldi: They have spectacular prices that just can't be beat! Also, they have the cart system where you need a quarter in order to take a cart out, and then when you put your cart back in, you get your quarter back. {I like this because it reminds me of the grocery stores back home in Canada!} Despite all these great things, they don't have much selection, a.k.a they don't have the chips I like.
2) Safeway: I really like Safeway because it's nicest looking grocery store around and they have a fantastic produce selection. It's where I like to buy mangos and apples. ;) They also have a Starbucks right at the entrance....so yeahhhh. {need I say more?!} There's nothing better than grocery shopping with a PSL, right?! Anyway, I was going here pretty frequently until I read in the news about someone getting assaulted right outside in the parking lot!! I'm kind of hesitant to go grocery shopping there now, especially since I usually go alone! :S
3) Food Lion: They're the closest grocery store to us, so when we're in a pinch we go here. But it's definitely nothing special...like I honestly have nothing to say about it right now...
4) Wal-Mart. I know, I know, how could I?! Bring on the haters. Trust me, I don't like Wal-Mart either. BUT they're the only store near me that sells cake decorating products at a pretty dang good price. {They also sell the Pioneer Woman kitchen brand, which makes it feel a little more "Targety" inside} But let me tell you, Wal-Mart in this area is super sketchy, like incredibly janky. I purposely dress down when I go just so I don't stand out too much. And then there's Wal-Mart in Canada, it's just absolutely gorgeous. {I take that back, "gorgeous" is a strong word...}. It's more decent and clean-looking I should say. Also, people get shot at this Wal-Mart here, and yet I still go. It must be the cake-decorating motivation inside of me that just can't be bothered, you know?

Since we're still on the topic of grocery stores, I'm actually a huge fan of the whole "self-checkout" ordeal. I love avoiding any possible chance of awkward small-talk with cashiers. Seriously, I never know what to say when after asking a cashier how they're doing and they reply with in the most depressing tone "oh you know, hangin' in there" or "as good as I can be for being here" or "it's Monday, so enough said". Like, what am I supposed to say? "Thank you for making me feel guilty for asking you about your well-being..."?
Oh well, I feel I'm allowed to comment on cashier-etiquette only because I used to be one. Good times!

How You Made Them Feel.

"She said, 'i've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've learned that everyday you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned that I still have alot to learn. I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.'"

{Maya Angelou}

I love that quote so much because of its' incredible truth. I always remember how people made me feel. I'll always remember how disheartened someone left me feeling, and I'll always remember how safe another person left me feeling. I'll always remember the person whom after spending the day with, left me feeling encouraged within my circumstances, inspired to love more, and thankful to Jesus for the people he's placed in my life. {I can't even count on my hands the number of loved ones in my life who make me feel this way! They're such blessings to me!}

And then...there's the people whom after spending time with, leave me feeling unsettled, exhausted, discouraged, sad, and disappointed. They're the kind of people you dread to see again. It's especially a battle for me because my INFJ personality, I'm like a sponge! I soak up the emotions around me, including every ounce of negative emotion. {Let's just say my dreams of becoming a therapist/counsellor didn't last long--I would have come home from work everyday an emotional basketcase!!} I often wish I could just be one of the people who simply brushes off the negative comments or vibes as if they never happened, someone with impermeable walls. BUT that's the thing with putting up walls, sure you block out the negative stuff, but you also then block out the positive stuff too!

The other day I did something dumb...I looked to the internet for emotional guidance {haha!}. I asked google something along the lines of "how to block other people's negative energy" and I got some hooey-phooey err...interesting advice about envisioning your brain as a house with four walls lifting your roof open to positive vibes only. {If that kind of stuff works for you, that is great...but for me personally, I think I'll run to Jesus for this instead}.

Back to the topic at hand, I wonder how I make people feel. Do people feel happy when they're with me? Do I leave them feeling encouraged, warm, and hopeful? {<---If not, then that's my goal!}

I struggle with the fear that I don't love people enough or that I'm not thoughtful enough. I'm afraid that I don't say enough and yet I'm afraid that sometimes I may say too much.
It's frustrating when I try so hard to show love and kindness to those around me and it isn't reciprocated. For instance, my work is a very busy place and we see hundreds of faces a day. I try to say "hello" and acknowledge every person I encounter. But when somebody doesn't even say anything back, it actually irritates me and causes me to stop saying the first "hello" to anyone after that. And then I get hit with a wave of guilt for not reaching out to others because what if somebody I walked right past was having a really bad day, or was feeling especially invisible or unloved that day? For some, a simple "hello" can mean the world to them. {I know there are moments for me when it really brightens my day!}

I hate when I have such a bad attitude going on in my mind that it manages to leak out to those least suspecting; I never want to be caught with snippy one-liners but it gets the best of me every now and then, unfortunately.

I think I spend so much energy trying to be "a light" for others {the kind of light that points people to Jesus} that I forget about the One who I'm doing it for, the one true light.

"Then Jesus spoke again to them, saying 'I am the Light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life". {John 8:12}

Pastel Purple Flower Cupcakes.

Hi friends!! At the beginning of August I was asked by a dear friend of mine to bake cupcakes for her upcoming baby shower. I felt incredibly honoured and flattered by her request! I was also super excited to get things rolling because she asked if I could do my signature buttercream flowers on the cupcakes. {Click here to see my past work!} YAY! Piping buttercream flowers is my favourite thing to do in the world of baking. I find it very therapeutic, fun, and at the same time informative because I learn something new every time I pipe out another petal or flower; I learn what I like, dislike, if my buttercream is too thin, thick, cold, or warm, and if I'm applying too much pressure or too little pressure with the piping bag. If I'm not writing these things down I'm attempting to take mental notes. {I need to get better at taking notes while baking because I'm always telling myself that I'll easily remember every little step that I did...pfft! Nope, not the case!}

I was asked to do 4 dozen cupcakes. {48 cupcakes!!} 24 chocolate, and 24 vanilla. This was the biggest cake/cupcake order I've had yet, so I was super excited!! Learning from past experiences and mistakes, I baked half of the cupcakes {12 chocolate and 12 vanilla} the week before the baby shower, froze them {with my careful and tedious-for-good-reason cupcake freezing method} and then baked the other 24 cupcakes on the evening before the baby shower. I think some people look down upon freezing baked goods, because they're not considered "fresh" to them, but alot if not most cake decorators have freezers full of frozen cake layers/cupcakes because it saves them time on the day of decorating. But more than that, freezing cakes actually makes your cake moister. Seriously. {And if you're curious about how to properly freeze cakes, I'd love to share with you a tried and true way!}
I could have easily baked all 48 cupcakes at once, but one of the recipes I love I had only done for cakes so I needed to experiment how they held up in cupcake form and how many cupcakes it could yield. THANKFULLY they turned out perfectly because that recipe is my all-time favourite and I wanted to use it so bad for this order!

ALSO, baking some ahead of time helped me figure out what to price the cupcakes at. <---This part is always fun...not! But I must say, since I started pricing baked goods back in the beginning of the year, I have gotten much better at it! Compared to the time it used to take me to price cakes out, this order took no time at all! You guys, the fact that I've improved and progressed in this area makes me SO happy; I feel so encouraged because pricing and cost is a crucial part to the "business" of baking and I feel like I'm on my way!! :) Thank you, Lord!  <3

The evening before the baby shower {Friday} I finished baking all 48 cupcakes {truthfully, I baked a few extra in case some didn't bake properly, and I'm glad I did because there were a few cupcake liners that I didn't fill with enough batter. Oops!}

After experiencing hallucinations and nightmares all night involving some sort of cupcake catastrophe or distaster, on Saturday morning I woke up to my alarm at 7 am. Thank goodness because I had a nightmare that I woke up at 12 pm, leaving me less than 2 hours to whip up the buttercream frosting and pipe 48 floral buttercream cupcakes. Talk about a stressful sleep!! Anyone else experience dreams like this before a big event?!

In all honesty, I spent an extended amount of time on this buttercream frosting; like, much more time than most people would. I just wanted it to be absolutely perfect; not too sweet {especially this!!}, not too soft, not too firm, not too salty {I love salt soooo....it's important for me to remember that not everyone loves salt as much as I do!}. I'm kind of particular in this way...I have a buttercream recipe that I go off of, but after I adding all of the measured ingredients that are listed I just go with the flow, adding a little more vanilla here and there, another teaspoon of salt, another 6 cups of icing sugar, ect. :P And best of all, it's ALL pure, amazing, delicious, melt-in-your-mouth butter. No filmy-feeling-on-the-tongue shortening.
But most of all, I wanted this frosting to be theeeee most perfect pastel purple ever!!

As I briefly mentioned in a previous blog post, I used my 6 QT Professional Series KitchenAid mixer for the buttercream and it was AMAZING. {I should really be getting paid by KitchenAid for saying this...} I've only had my stand mixer for a few months now, so I'm new to the working wonders of the glorious KitchenAid mixer and I must say it's practically life changing. It's like when you have a baby. All is well before your baby comes into the world, and you can't even imagine life WITH a baby in it. Now, after having a baby, you can't even remember your life "before-baby" and can't imagine life "without-baby". Ergo, I can't even imagine my life "without-my-pastel-pink-KitchenAid-stand-mixer". {bahah, how terrible was that comparison?! I thought it was fitting with the whole baby shower theme...be nice to me in your comments below... :P }

ANYWAY...This particular cupcake endeavour was my most organized and successful one yet, take this photo for example:

I have a clean kitchen {culinary school's classic: clean-as-you-go system}, all of the cupcakes are laid out in their fancy "boxes", and everything is set up in "assembly line" fashion; buttercream frosting, piping tips and couplers, disposable piping bags, cupcake wrappers, and glitter {which I never ended up using}.
I even had it all planned out of what piped flower designs I would do and exactly how many of each design as well. {I've progressed immensely!}

This is just beautiful. When I see cupcakes like this I see delicious blank slates, ready for anything. I get so so soooo excited and nervous {the good kind of nervous!} during this stage of baking because it's my favourite part and also the most crucial part. I just love piping flowers and applying all of the finishing touches!

 My first four cupcakes in the rose design, none of which I had to redo! I got it all perfect on the first try!! Ugh, what a good day.

A few hours later, DONE. 48 cupcakes DONE! I get asked how long it takes me to do each cupcake and honestly, it can go from a few seconds to a few minutes. The rose swirls for example take literally seconds, whereas the tiny-petaled-chrysanthemum designs take minutes because of the tediousness. {But the intricacy of the eye-appeal is totally worth it!}

Due to the annoyingly horrible indoor lighting our kitchen has to offer, the colour of the cupcakes you see in this photo is not true. In fact, they definitely look more pink here than they do purple. That is why whenever I am colouring my buttercream frosting I'm always dipping my spatula in the frosting and then walking over to our living room window and holding the spatula up against the white wall so that I can see the true colour of the frosting I've produced. I think I did this 10 + times trying to achieve the perfect pastel purple {and it SURE paid off}!

I bought these BEAUTIFUL laser-cut lace cupcake wrappers off of Amazon and I wasn't completely sure if I'd even use them, just because I'd never used cupcake wrappers before. But the moment I placed the first cupcake in one of those lacy-white beauties I fell in LOVE.

The cupcake wrappers made these cupcakes go from "pretty cute" to "GORGEOUS"! They add a whole different dimension to the cupcakes because they hide those wrinkly transparent cupcake liners.

AND OF COURSE, anyone who knows me at all know that I need to photograph all of my beauties!! :D Note the colour difference from the photos taken in my kitchen to the photos taken beside the window! If there's any advice I can give to foodie photographers, please take photos of your food in natural light--you'll give so much more justice to the work you put into your creations!!

Unfortunately I didn't have alot of time for a photoshoot, so setting them on this marble tray was all I could come up with.

 ^The cupcake with all of the little petals is the one that takes the longest to pipe. {Can you imagine piping 4 dozen of just that design of cupcakes?!}

 I also ordered these amazing plastic cupcake boxes off of Amazon {Amazon Prime is my best friend--what is better than free 2-day shipping?!}. These boxes are perfect because their domes have a high height and their compartments are wide enough to fit cupcakes plus their cupcake wrappers-although it was a little snug in there. I'd ask for compartments with a teeny-weeny bit more circumference if I could...

All ready for transport!! Delivering them is also a nerve-wracking part of the whole ordeal.

Now, normally I drive to the destination, open the boxes to show them to my client to make sure they're pleased, return to my car, drive home and sigh a huuuuuuge glorious sigh of cake-decorator's relief. But this time was different as I was actually attending the baby shower. Not only did I have to bake the cupcakes, but I had to be present for when people were trying them and eating them for the first time! {GAH!!} So many fears and insecurities snuck into my brain at this time such as, "what if they're actually horrible? What if nobody likes them?!" but I just have to remind myself that I KNOW what I'm doing. I've done this before! I've had friends and family taste-test all of my recipes and give me honest feedback. I've tasted this batch of cupcakes at every stage of the baking and decorating process, and most of all, I have put so much love into this it's not even funny! I don't think I've ever put so much love into a cake order yet {mostly because my love grows surprisingly deeper and deeper every time! Haha!}.

Despite driving to the wrong house and not remembering the actual address of the baby shower and having to call Jarryd at home to go look at the invite to tell me the address and then mentally freaking out because I was arriving late to the baby shower and feeling horrible because this is an important cake order and it probably looks so bad for my reputation that I'm LATE, it was all good because it was so busy inside the house with everyone standing and greeting one another that nobody even noticed I was late! * gasp * WOOOOW that was a long run-on sentence!! {Plus, I think when my "clients"/friends laid eyes on the cupcakes it distracted them from me being 10 minutes late}. Phewwwwww!

And then there's THIS!! I always say that piping the flowers on my cupcakes is my favourite part of the process, but seeing the look of approval and joy on people's faces when they see and taste my cupcakes is actually my favourite part. It's the reason I even DO all of this!!

It felt incredible to have complete strangers come up to me at this shower and ask me "was it you who made the cupcakes?", and after an enthusiastic squeaky "yes!" from me, for them to say how amazing they were, that they not only looked gorgeous but TASTED incredible and that they'd like business cards, felt so so so good!! I honestly can't even tell you how many people came up to me to compliment me because I completely lost count {haha!}. I'm pretty sure I looked like I was permanently blushing the entire time. And it's not like I went around the room approaching people with a "sooooo how'd you like the cupcakes?!" just fishing for compliments {believe it or not, there ARE personalities who do this!}. Like, total strangers approached me; total strangers along with friends and acquaintances went out of their way to talk to me about the cupcakes. They didn't have to say anything, but they did, and I'm so glad!

I've always been a person who can take criticism well. I'm very teachable and can learn from my shortcomings; therefore, I appreciate ANY kind of feedback, especially on something that I'm most passionate about!

As I said in my above Instagram post, I'm so thankful for this passion that God has instilled in me; He gives us these passions for a reason. He's given me the patience to wait for cake batter to rise in the oven. He's given me a steady hand to hold a piping bag and for piping intricate designs. He's given me a creative eye for food styling and skill with a camera. He's given me introverted mind that never tires of dreaming, imagining, and exploring new ideas! There's also things that aren't so natural to me such as planning most efficiently and working with numbers, but He's given me the determination and motivation to grow in these areas!! He is so good and I'm so excited and willing to go wherever He takes me with this whole baking thing! <3

A few days later after all of this, my friend sent me photos that she took of my cupcakes {and some with her preggo belly!!} with her fancy-schmancy camera and because I'm so in love with them I just HAD to share them on here with you guys!

 Baby belly! :)

I just love how they look with the wood!

Thank you to everyone for supporting me and for all of your encouragement and LOVE. I appreciate it more than you know! And thank you for reading my bloggy blog. I would absolutely love to hear what you think in the comments below!! Until next time, friends! <3

The Evolution of our Living Room Space.

I know I'm not an interior decorating guru or anything--nor do I participate in any remote form of Feng Shui--BUT I changed our living room around again. And I think that this arrangement just might be THE ONE. Yes, the one. The one that will stay for months and months to come.

Let's go way back, shall we?

After Jarryd and I got married in June of 2014, we moved into an above-garage apartment. It really did constitute as one of those apartments you "have to have" in your first year of marriage in order to get the full newlywed experience. {That's one positive way of looking at it...Ha!} This is what out first apartment living room looked like:

{July 2014}

We hardly had any furniture, but the beauty of it all was that you're just so excited to be married and living together that you don't even care what your apartment looks like.

But hey, weren't we just so creative with our American Flag casually draped over our rocking chair? Haaaa!

And then we rearranged and decorated for Christmas holidays:

{December 2014}

This look quite bachelorpad-esque, don't you think? Like, it has absolutely no personality to it. There's nothing in there that looks like "Jenny", and that's a sad, sad truth to swallow.

{March 2015}

 And now we're gettin' somewhere! We finally had enough money to buy a coffee table (which was much needed), and an area rug. And I painted our "tv stand" and end tables white! And we finally put up some wedding photos on the wall! (I sure do miss all of that natural lighting coming in through all those windows!)

{August 2015}

This was right after we moved into our current apartment! Yay! Just gettin' settled.

{October 2015}

We bought a futon for our second bedroom, but because we needed more seating available in our living room we decided to move it out here...

{February 2016}

 Put up some nice pictures on the walls and organized the tv stand! In regards to this arrangement, even at the time we weren't crazy about it. It just felt too crowded.

{April 2016}

There was even a short time where we put our desk in front of the window. That was quite nice, but the room STILL didn't feel right. (Perhaps I am more into Feng Shui than I thought?!)

{July 2016}

We bought new end tables, moved the desk around, put the coffee table by the window, and replaced that horrible dirty "floral" rug with a beautiful white sheepskin rug. {Let's see how long we can keep it white for!}

These two photos above were the photos that I had just showed you in my "One Year Apartment Anniversary" Blog Post (that you can click here to read), and literally the week after I took these, I changed up the living room AGAIN!

Are you ready to see what our living room currently looks like right now?? YAY me too!

{September 2016}

Because I knew that my family was coming to visit soon, I wanted it to look more put-together. So I went on a huge IKEA and HomeGoods haul. Well, I don't know if HUGE is the correct word to use because I didn't spend a crazy amount of money or anything, but I did buy a noticeable amount of home decor {just enough to spruce things up a little!}.

Also, at this time when I went to IKEA, I arrived just under an hour and a half before they closed. Talk about PANIC MODE. A person needs at least 3 hours at IKEA, right?! There's so much to consider and ponder {and admire}!

 Yep, we finally filled that empty wall!

 The two silver frames and the world map in the middle are all from IKEA. The world map definitely wasn't an impulse buy, as I had been eyeing it online for awhile! ;) The photo to the right is my FAVOURITE photo from our engagement shoot. We even had it on the back of our wedding invites.

 And this lovely photo was taken at, duh, DISNEYWORLD. It's where we took our honeymoon and I wouldn't have traded that experience for the world! It was SO fun!

There is ALOT of IKEA in this photo. The large palm plant was on sale for only $11. I was so hesitant to buy it because, I don't know...I KILL plants. But I thought, hey, as long as it survives up until my parents leave then that'll be fine. And now, almost a month later it's still living!

Also the framed greenery art is from IKEA and so is the cactus, and the two plant holders. :)

So I found this sultry soft sheepskin at HomeGoods for a way better price than the one at IKEA! It was only $16.99 and it feels amazing! I honestly used to loathe this rocking chair, I kept asking Jarryd to just throw it out and get rid of it somehow someway. But once I laid the sheepskin on it, I've been totally smitten and now it's my favourite place to sit. Actually, it's where I'm sitting RIGHT NOW as I type!

You would not believe how much a room changes once you stick a giant plant in it. Buying that plant was probably the best home decor decision I had ever made!

It felt almost surreal having my family here, in my living room! You get so used to having them live millions of miles away that you just can't picture them sitting in your apartment! And the awesome part is that both of my parents said that we did a great job with decorating the place! Yay what a compliment! :)

Anyway, I love our apartment and I love coming home to it after a long day at work {especially when it's clean! haha!}. SO, what do you guys think?? I'd love to hear your opinions! :)