Snow Weekend!

As I am sure all of you have heard, Winter Storm Jonas Brother is on its way to North Eastern USA! When I first heard the warnings earlier in the week about this storm, I felt slightly panicked because I was scheduled to work both Saturday and Sunday. Granted, my commute to work is only ten minutes, but I absolutely loathe winter driving. With this cold Canadian blood running through my veins, I am pretty skilled at driving through ice and snow (I had to endure this on my recent trip to Canada), but it still terrifies me!

I even received an email a few days ago from my workplace saying that we are to work as scheduled and we need to bring overnight clothes as rooms are available for us to sleep in. Seeing as I work at a resort center/hotel, the sleeping conditions wouldn't be terrible at all! Definitely nothing to complain about. Sure, it would be a cool story to tell, but I don't want to stay the night at my workplace! Am I totally off base here?!

This morning my boss called and said significant numbers of guests have dropped, meaning...I HAVE THE WEEKEND OFF!! I never get both Saturday AND Sunday off without requesting for it off.

I'm not a fortune teller or anything, but I predict two whole days of being stranded inside with Jarryd, binge-watching The Office, Parks & Rec, and eating pizza and perogies! I am just so excited! :D Well, unless there is a power-outage, then that completely ruins my prediction. :/

And now, to give you a current update on the winter storm situation now at 12:30 PM:

Things are crazy out there...

* cough *

I shouldn't speak too soon though. The storm isn't supposed to start for a few hours yet. Truthfully, I don't know what to expect. It seems that there is a correlation between the higher the hype, the milder the storm turns out to be, AND the less the hype, the worse the storm. This storm has gained a lot of hype, so I guess only time will tell!

Stay safe everyone!

Half & Half.

Today I wore my hair in a new style that I like to call: the half-up half-down bun!
I'm totally not that girl who wears zillions of different hair styles, so this is kind of a big deal.

I have grand total of four signature hair styles that I wear:
1) Down
2) Half up/half down
3) Ponytail
4) Braid

I would definitely be more inclined to wear a variety of dos if I could hire my own personal hairstylist...but I can't... :'(
I guess now I have a fifth signature hair style because I really like this half-up half-down bun business! Even the hubs showered me with a couple compliments on it. Yay!! ;)

If you were hoping for some kind of hair tutorial on this, you've come to the wrong place. I'm no good for that. But if there is something I can suggest, it's that you'll need:

• An imagination.
• A maximum of 60 seconds.
• Common sense.
• A tiny "hair tie" (as they say here in the US)/"ponytail" (as said in Canada)/elastic.
• And a bobby pin!

Woohoo!
I guess what I'm really saying here, is that if I can do it, literally ANYONE can do this.
Happy half-up-half-down-bun time! :)

Our Turkey Point Lighthouse Christmas Photoshoot.

Where I'm from (Winnipeg, Canada), taking family Christmas photos, getting them edited and printed, and handing them out to everyone you know at Christmas family gatherings is a huge deal. Huuuuge! Like, you should see my parent's house. They have two walls covered in friends and family's Christmas photos! (I can only hope and dream to have that many photos when I am their age, heehee)!

Christmas card photos are just a fantastic way to update loved ones on changes in the family, whether that be through pregnancies, birth, or weddings. Personally, I love to see the families grow in numbers and watch the kids get taller and taller each year.

In Maryland, it's a different story. During my first Christmas here,

I said to Jarryd: "let's take Christmas photos and send them to everyone!"

Jarryd: "...huh?"

Me: "You're JOKING!"

After a whole big explanation, and because Jarryd wants to be a Mennonite-German-Canadian convert so badly, we decided to take some shots (photo shots that is). And here is a photo of our very first Christmas together as husband and wifey (2014):

I love that photo. I think it's the matching shirts that does it for me. ;) Because we knew we weren't going to be spending Christmas in Canada, and because international postage is so expensive, we only printed out photos for my immediate family and Jarryd's family. It was good enough at the time.

As for this last Christmas of 2015, we knew we were coming back to Canada for the holidays, so we had to bring out the big guns!

So after work one Saturday in early December, I straightened my hair, did my make up, picked out an outfit (choosing an outfit is always the hardest part, right?!), grabbed the Canon, and we raced to the Turkey Point Lighthouse. We had absolutely no doubts about taking our photos here, because it's probably the most beautiful place in this area of Maryland.

(Turkey Point is also where we got our engagement photos taken!)

Click here to see!! :)

To save--a lot of--money we just used the Self-Timer option on our camera. Guys, this is an awesome way to save some coins, because you don't have to pay for a session with a photographer. But if I could offer one bit of advice, use a tripod. Unfortunately, we do not own a tripod, so this resulted in us having to set our expensive Canon camera on branches, uneven rocks, stumps, benches, ect. It's slightly terrifying when you feel the wind coming around and you are just praying that it doesn't knock your baby over. Thankfully, our baby lived to show and tell the tale!

We had exactly one hour before the sun was about to set so we had to move quickly. The few hours before sunset is a GOLDEN time to take photos because the lighting is magnificent. (This is because you have the sun level with you, therefore it is shining AT you. This is better than taking photos at noon where the sun is on top of your head, creating a ton of unwanted shadows on your face). Having such a limited amount of time was slightly stressful for me, but once I actually took a look around and grasped how freaking beautiful the Chesapeake Bay is, I realized it was silly of me to not enjoy this moment. And because this place is so breathtaking, I couldn't resist stopping to take some landscape photos.

Have you ever seen such perfect lighting? :)

The handsome bearded fellow, my husband.

Ooo thanks Jarryd for the photo! :)

This above photo was our second choice for Christmas cards, the complexity of the trees in the background is just gorgeous! But I think the trees take away from the whole point of the photos, us.

 There she is: the Turkey Point Lighthouse!

Fuzzy boots!

Such a beauuuuutiful sunset!

 I also love this one. Third choice!

 Ooo la looove! This whole silhouette photo was Jarryd's idea, and it turned out beautifully! 

Yeah, I had no idea my scarf was doing that. None the less, this one is cute!

We had to take one WITH the Lighthouse of course!

Kissie kissie smoochie smooch! ;)

 Goodbye sun! Have you ever watched a sunset? It's incredible how quickly the sun actually falls! And it's kind of a sad moment once it disappears. Aww...

 A bench is always nice to sit on.

 I am in LOVE with this photo. What I love the most is how perfectly shaped the two trees are to give the illusion that it's one tree.

Ugh, wow.

Thank goodness he found himself an outhouse.... LOL!

I love all of the growth and vines in this photo.

And last but definitely not least, the photo we chose for our 2015 Christmas card was:

I love this one because it's up close, you can easily see our faces, and clearly WE are the subject and main focus of the photo, not the landscape! Also, I'm a huge fan of direct eye contact with the camera lens. :)

So it's official, taking Christmas card photos is fun and even Jarryd enjoyed the whole experience too! Next year, we are going to take our photos in either October or November so we're not pressed for time. Plus, there's pretty leaves on the trees and the weather is nice and warm. Thanks for looking and I hope you enjoyed! I always love to show friends and family back home the beauty of Maryland! :)

A Walk in January.

Last weekend Jarryd and I went for a walk at one of our favourite places, Fair Hill. This place is beautiful! It's where memories are made. Fair Hill is where Jarryd proposed to me; and anyone who comes to visit, I bring them here! :)

It has an innumerable amount of trails going every direction, and each time we come here we like to hit the ones that we haven't yet stepped on. I think that maybe, just maybe we found our favourite trail this weekend!

The combination of gloomy skies, dead trees, open fields of rolling hills, and old buildings built back in who-knows-when gave me "The Village" kind of vibe. The vibey feelings make sense, as that movie was filmed not even an hour from here! Woo! I would not mind an M. Night Shyamalan marathon right about now...

Winter in Maryland is unlike any winter. It's not too cold, it has its fair share of greenery, AND there's still no snow on the ground. (They say we're supposed to get a big snowstorm this upcoming weekend, unfortunately. I'll keep you posted). I was really looking forward to going a whole winter without any snow...sigh.

And January of 2016 is unlike any year. Every January up until this point has been a month of significance, because it enthrones the "this is finally the year of ______" statement. Whether it be graduating high school, moving, graduating college, moving again, getting married, moving some more, or getting my Green Card, there has always been some big life-altering event coming up that year that I have planned for.

But as for this January, no spectacular written-in-stone event has been planned for this year. How interesting. We have our hopes and dreams of course, but for right now that is all they are, dreams, hopes, and potential goals.

Is this normal? Often I've been lead to believe that the life I live is a somewhat abnormal one. (Apparently not everyone moves like 5 times in 5 years...whaaat?!)

Yes, it's rather weird for me to think that life could stay somewhat the same for me this year. Especially because I've almost reached my anniversary for living in the same town for two whole years. You think you're amazed at my consistency?! I'm even more amazed!

I do not think that life is made up of the big events.

I've been to many funerals in my 25 years of living, and at none of them do they lay out a timeline of the deceased's big moments in life. It's not like they announce:"In 1964 they graduated high school, then in 1970 they graduated with their masters in Mathematical Biology, and then got married in 1971, and then moved to Oxford in 1974, and then published a novel in 1978." NO! This may sound a little blunt for my taste, but nobody cares about that stuff. We care about who they were as a person and they reflect on how they treated others at every step of the way aloooong the timeline of their big life events. It's the little things in life, right?!

I do not think I'm going to be remembered for my A.A in Social Sciences. I really don't. (Although it was fun while it lasted). And I'm not about to fashion a whole list of my "good deeds done unto others in life", because that would just be a little conceited and ridiculous. (But can you imagine? HA!)

But what I will say is that before traveling back to my hometown in Canada, I have this little fear inside that I'll arrive and end up sitting at my parents place watching TV everyday for two weeks because nobody will have any time for me; or I'll call a friend up and ask to hang out and they'll respond with "sorry, I'm actually too busy washing my hair this morning...and afternoon...and evening...and the day after that. Have a nice flight back! Love ya!" But thankfully, both times I have travelled back to Canada, this blissful wave of relief washes over me because the moment I arrive my schedule is already filled with friends and family who want to see me!! This is not a bragging party in any way, it is just a reassurance for my heart that when I was living in my hometown, I did things right and I treated people right. And I think that is what I'll be remembered for/what I hope and strive to be remembered for: my love!

So with all of that to say, I guess this year will be all about the little things. And that is just fine because I know God will use them for His glory, some way some how.

"Now listen, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.'

Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow.

What is your life?

You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.

Instead, you ought to say, 'If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.'"

James 4:13-15

My life is but a mist. <3

Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies.

One of the advantages to working a part-time job, is having the time to be at home baking delicious things at my own leisurely pace. Today I baked my favourite cookies in the whole world: Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies.

Of course, I found this recipe on AllRecipes.com and to be completely honest, I think these taste better than the Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies found in the Mennonite "More-With-Less Cookbook". See, that was always my go-to recipe, so I never thought in a million years I'd find a recipe that could ever outshine it! Sorry Mom. XD

The differences in recipes are slight, but I prefer the AllRecipes version because it uses butter instead of shortening (Butter = Better), the peanut butter is omitted, and it incorporates walnut pieces! Yay!

This cookie baking experience was a really good one, as I used my new 1 TB Cookie Scoop to scoop the dough from the bowl neatly onto the cookie sheets. I don't know how I went this long without ever using a cookie scoop! It was so much easier and way less messy! For once my fingers weren't covered in dough. Which isn't always a bad thing duhh... ;) But if you take anything away from this blog post, invest in a cookie scoop!! (Although I'd probably get a size smaller if given the chance).

When Kitchen & Company was having a closing sale, I HAD to check it out. (I love that place!) I ended up buying that cookie scoop, and a 3-tiered cooling rack because I NEVER have enough space on my cooling racks! So I finally got to use both of these new kitchen gadgets in this baking experience and I loved every second of it.

These cookies are SO good. The butter gives its edges a nice crispiness, but the cookie as a whole are so soft and chewy. (They also freeze VERY well). They're Jenny approved and more importantly, husband-approved. (And it's a recipe that has 4.5 stars and over 3k reviews so you KNOW it's good!)

You can find

the recipe by

clicking HERE. 

Teeny tiny changes that I made to the recipe were:

• 1.5 teaspoons of salt instead of 1 teaspoon (I love salt).
• A little extra vanilla, because vanilla is the best. Case closed.
• 3/4 cup chocolate chips instead of 1 cup (I find too many chocolate chips to be overwhelming both in flavour and texture) I would probably even be happy with less than 3/4 cup.
• Used 1/2 cup of EggBeaters (liquid egg whites) because I didn't have any eggs lying around! This was actually freaking me out because I didn't know what the outcome would be without yolks in the cookies, but they surprisingly turned out fantastic!
• I baked them in the oven closer to 16 min than 12 min. This is a LONG time for cookies to bake, but somewhat expected as the oven temperature is pretty low.

OK I'm gonna go eat a cookie for breakfast now. :)

The Intern.

So, I just finished watching "The Intern" and...Nancy Meyers does it AGAIN. I highly recommend this movie. The story is captivating, the relationship between generations of old and new are refreshing, and it's just heartwarming. (Ahh, my heart!!)

Nancy Meyers is probably my favourite producer/writer/director/ingenius superhuman in Hollywood.
This woman makes the best movies (aside from the epic ones like LOTR, Harry Potter, Star Wars, of course). It's as if she is creating these flawless masterpieces just for me. I'm convinced before she pens a movie together she asks herself "self, what is a plot that Jenny would find just fascinatingly irresistible? OK, let's go with that."

She has produced some of my most favourite movies of all time including "The Holiday" and "Father of the Bride". And now, "The Intern". Have you guys seen any of these movies? Are they great or is it just me?!

I would love to have a Nancy Meyers movie marathon one of these days. Nothing like a little quality time with Kate Winslet, Diane Keaton, Robert DeNiro, Anne Hathaway, and Steve Martin, right? Who wants to join me? :)

25 Year Old Me.

Hey friends! Today I write to you as a totally changed woman; I am 25 years old and therefore I must act like it. It's time to be mature.
...
Nah, I think I'll save that for my 30th birthday. Hee hee! (But don't hold me to it!)

25 is such a big deal for me. Although, turning 18 was an even bigger deal for me! 18 years of age meant I could go to Earl's Kitchen & Bar and order my first White Peach Bellini; it meant I could finally graduate from high school, and it meant I could start my first year of University 3 provinces away.

Being 25 and married means that I seriously need to consider having children...and then seriously decide that I am definitely not ready. Well that was easy...
What else does 25 mean to me? Time to get serious about a career? Time to go get that Baking & Pastry Arts degree I've always wanted? Time to start cleaning the shower on a regular basis? Time to truly, truly settle down?
(Wait, doesn't 25 mean that my car insurance premium drops?! Or is this just in Canada? If so, what a spectacular birthday gift!)

Truthfully, I don't know what being 25 means other than being a quarter of a century old. (Yikes!) Not to mention, everyone's 25 looks different. Some are working at their dream job. Some are definitely not working their dream job. Some have 4 kids under the age of 5. Some are contestants on the Bachelor/Bachelorette looking for their true love.

What my 25 looks like is:
Being married to Jarryd for almost 2 years! Times flies when you're havin' fun!!
Enjoying apartment living.
Never quitting my delicious bagel and cream cheese habit.
Working as a cook.
Attending a new church (yay!!) and building community (yay!!).
Making the most out of Maryland and its surrounding States.
Embracing the fact that I will probably always have to work weekends.
Traveling as much as possible!!
Blogging! I love it!
Focusing on and caring for every person that I come into contact with.
Learning more and more about food, cooking, and baking.
Keeping in touch with friends and family whom I live--too--far away from.
Watching the new Nicholas Sparks movie on February 5th, i'm counting down the days. (Just thought I'd throw this in here)...
And most importantly, being trying to be thankful in every situation, embracing the surprises for what they are: learning experiences and teachable moments. Nothing matures you better than choosing God in the hard times, right? Right.

Nothing about my 25 is incredibly significant or "out-there", but it is what makes up my little 25-year-old self. I really am very excited to see what this next year of life has in store for me. What will life be like when I turn 26? Will I still be addicted to bagels and cream cheese?!! Or is a Shakeology-a-day in my near future? (Hahaha).

The actual day of my birthday, January 9th, was a GOOD one. Well, truthfully it started out a little lame as I had to wake up at 6 am to go to work. But all of the birthday wishes I received there at work were so hilarious. Some people can't believe I am 25! Apparently I look like more of a 23 year old. ;)
And my boss even brought me a so-called "large" Vanilla Iced Coffee (In my opinion it was more like a extra-large x5), which seriously had me wired until 7 am the next morning.

And then when I got home from work Jarryd gave me flowers!!! <3 And then we had an awesome date at the Movie Tavern in Pennsylvania where we saw The Revenant. This theatre was especially great because you sit on fully-reclining seats, and waiters deliver food and drinks to you. I can't wait to go there again! Plus, the movie was so good. All I could think about was Alberta, Canada and how insanely beautiful it is...and how I'd way rather be stuffing my face with fries in this warm theatre than slicing open a horse, removing its insides, and sleeping inside of the horse. See the movie. You'll understand then.

It was a great start to my 25 years of life! Not to mention, all of the texts, Facebook posts, messages, and Facetimes from amazing friends of old and new can make a girl feel SO loved. God has blessed me beyond measure. Happy Birthday to me! <3 :)

I don't wanna use my mouth,
Don't know how to spell it out
Every time I try, it sucks
I just wish you could open me up and see all the confusion
And the love, the hurt, the wrong words I'm using
Cause tonight, it feels like...
Like you don't know my heart.

{Rachel Platten}

Contentment is a Choice.

"Contentment with life is not a feeling, but it is a decision we must make. Contentment does not mean that we never want to see change or improvement, but it does mean we can be happy where we are and will do the best we can with what we have. It also means we will maintain an attitude that allows us to enjoy the gift of life". {Joyce Meyer}

I read that quote in my devotional this morning and it really struck a chord with me--(I never say "struck a chord with me" ever, so I don't know why I thought now was a good time to start). Anyway!
The aim for contentment has been my struggle my entire life.
I will want something, I will get it, and yet I will still find myself wanting more...wanting something else. The desire for contentment is like a broken record; it always ends the same way (or lack there of, I should say).

Never being satisfied with what we have is a fleshly desire. We can see that God knew that this would be a huge and common struggle for His children, because there are numerous verses in the Bible on this topic.

For example, one verse that really hits me is "But Godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it". {1 Timothy 6:6-0}

Wow. Do you ever think about that? Obviously when we were born we didn't bring anything with us into the world, and when we die we are leaving everything behind. We can't take our house, car, spouse, children, TV, money, social circle, intelligence, or skill with us. If I can't be in possession of any of those things when I enter into eternity, then what is the point in desiring them so?

Not being content leads to coveting (to desire wrongfully). God knew this would be such a big issue that He even has it within the Ten Commandments. "You shall not covet your neighbour's house..." {Exodus 20:17}. Coveting seems like such a tiny commandment to break, doesn't it? It may seem so, but then again, it only takes a little bit of coveting for a marriage to fail. It only takes a little bit of coveting for someone to get murdered. It only takes a little bit of coveting to ruin someones life. The consequences of coveting are atrocious and THAT is why God commands us against such things.
Therefore, when we choose to follow God's commandments, He will bless us in ways we can't even imagine.

Six years ago at Bible school in Germany, I finally won this spiritual battle that had been going on inside of me for YEARS. You see, ever since Kindergarten I wanted a boyfriend. I know, I know, that is WAY too young to even be thinking about boys, and I can only pray my future children at that age will be pondering about other things like...crayons and construction paper. Despite this fierce desire to have a boyfriend, I went all through elementary, middle, high school, and my freshman year of college without ever having one. I can admit there were some close calls, (I'm not totally detestable), but none of them ever checked off enough requirements on my "perfect future husband" list. I was super picky and today am sure glad that I was, but it was HARD. It was hard to see all of my friends being pursued and loved by amazing guys when I wasn't. My desire for a boyfriend and lack of contentment didn't make me BETTER, in fact it made me BITTER.

When I first got to Germany and began life at a new school it was amazing to forget everything I was going through and have a "fresh start"; but nothing is truer than the fact that you cannot run away from your problems. So sure enough, all of my insecurities, bitterness, and ungratefulness caught up to me. I still remember the night after I returned back to Germany after an awesome girls weekend in Paris...how I cried myself to sleep. You KNOW that a 19-year-old is bitter when they are living the life in Germany, spending weekends away with some of her best girlfriends next to the Eiffel Tower and the Arc du Triomphe and still manages to find a reason to cry.

I knew I had a choice to make. I could either waste away my time at Bible school drowning in my insecurities OR I could truly let God in and allow Him to change me. The following days and weeks were spent drilling myself in the Word, spending time in my relationship with Christ, getting advice from Godly women, and learning all that I could from my teachers. Looking back now that whole process is kind of one big blur. But what I do remember is one night in December finally thinking happily to myself, "Wow, I can actually see myself being a single woman for the rest of my life. I can do this"! For honestly the first time in my whole life I was finally content with being single. I finally realized that my confidence and strength wasn't supposed to come from me, it was supposed to come from God, and He was enough for me. It was such an awesome realization and I wouldn't have traded my journey to get to that place for anything. I had finally felt content in who I was in Christ and didn't need a guy to get me to that point.

And then that very same night, probably 30 minutes to an hour later, this guy named Jarryd started complimenting me, making me soup, talking with me, taking me for walks, making me laugh, and now six years later we are an old married couple (JK, newlyweds forever!!). So adding to what I said before, when I found true belonging in Christ, that is when He blessed me with Jarryd. I'm seriously so thankful that God never gave me a boyfriend before any of this because then I probably would have driven this boyfriend away and had to have gone through some pretty bad experiences.

I have seen what God can do when I choose to find my identity, strength, and joy in Him! So today, six years later in 2016, when I am struggling with this unhappiness towards things like my job and where I am currently living...it baffles me because I know that this unthankfulness is not the answer. God has done so much in my life, how can I not praise Him? So, because I know that struggles cannot disappear out of my life completely, I must remember that contentment is not a feeling but a choice. And with God's strength I will choose to see the good in my life rather than the not-so-good.

Take the season of Winter for example. It is the absolute worst. I loathe it like no other. But despite my detesting, I choose to see the beauty in it and sometimes its beauty overrides its hideously frigid winds.

My backyard in Germany. (2010)

My face says it all: This whole Niagara Falls thing is beautiful, but get me out of this weather NOW...

Just sometimes. ;)

We're Home!

After two flights from Winnipeg -> Toronto -> Philadelphia, we are home!

In the morning before our flight took off, my parents took us to breakfast at The Pancake House. It was delicious, and despite how insanely busy the place was, the service was exquisite! I'd never been there before, and I think it's safe to say that the next time I'm in Winnipeg I'll definitely go again! Breakfast date, anyone? ;)

Flying domestically from Winnipeg to Toronto was of course a synch. The worst part about international dating/marriage is international flying. We had a 3 hour layover in Toronto, but because the customs line-up and process was so long, we had only 45 minutes to spare before our next flight took off.

Starved out of our minds, we sat down at a restaurant which had an iPad at every seat. Surprisingly, ordering food and paying off of an iPad was easier than expected. Not to mention, our food (I got a Poutine, obviously!!!) and drinks came right away! No need to wait for the cheque anymore! And to think, the only reason we ate here was because we couldn't find a McDonalds... (haha!)

You wouldn't think that two short flights would amount to total physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion. But they did.
Carrying heavy bags on and off planes, through customs lines and terminals is physically exhausting.
Trying to figure out the correct way to slide my Passport into the "Automated Passport Kiosk" is mentally exhausting. ...Please confirm your name and birth date, it says. Hmm...I don't remember any of these things anymore...
And saying goodbye will always be emotionally exhausting. It will always suck. But hey, how lucky are we to have so many "goodbyes" that actually hurt the heart? What is more of a reality check than having an easy goodbye with someone, you know?!

Despite the exhaustion, it feels good to be back in Maryland! I'm super excited to reflect on the amazing--almost 3 weeks I spent in Canada with family and friends! I have so many reasons to praise God.

I'm also ready for some routine and to UNWIND. Just like after my previous trip to Canada, I am experiencing an introvert-hangover, and am in dire need of an empty apartment, unlimited amounts of junk food, and a chick flick marathon. I'm sure none of this is surprising to anyone...

I thought I was tired. But after using Jarryd's toothbrush this morning and only realizing it after brushing my teeth for 3+ minutes and spitting it out, I KNOW I'm tired. (...Do you think I should tell him?) :P