River of Tears.

I can't stop listening to this song. It's typical of me to be drawn heavyhearted piano ballads. But the more I listen to it, the more I wish I had written it first. And the more I listen to it, I just find myself interpreting it different than how I'm sure it was meant to be interpreted.

I haven't asked Alessia Cara (the artist) if it was written after a relationship breakup, but I don't think I need to; it is for sure a breakup song.

Don't worry, I'm not experiencing a relationship breakup; thankfully, I cannot relate to the song in that regard. Actually, I find that it perfectly tells the story of my relationship with my--sinful--flesh.
My flesh keeps convincing me that it's going to save me. It's going to sculpt me and make me into something new and beautiful, inside out. My flesh keeps promising me that it is all I need and that I don't need anything else to make me whole.
I keep buying into the promises and lies and before I know it, this sculpture it has created of me is now in pieces, broken. My flesh essentially lies to me, over and over again; and of course, I keep falling for it and letting it happen over and over again.

You might be thinking, "how on earth did she get that out of the song?! That's so crazy." And that is ok if you think that. The beauty of music is that you can take it and mold it any which way you so desire. And that is how I choose to mold this song.

I listen to songs to fit the "mood" I'm in, not change the "mood" I'm in. And right now, this battle between the Holy Spirit inside of me and my flesh is in full swing. Sometimes all the time it feels like my flesh is enveloped around my body a little too tight.

"Still got the flowers that you sent
And the note you wrote that said we're meant to be forever
I keep them all as evidence
In a drawer under the mirror, filled with empty promises
I don't know why
I keep letting you lie to me
Hard as I try
It seems I can't break away
I thought that you would be the hero
Come and save the day
But you're a villain
Your sins unforgiven

I'm going down, and you have watched me drown
In a river of tears, lost beneath the stream
Under the waves, I've found the strength to say
The river of tears has washed me clean
Go 'head and wish me well
I'll cry a wishing well
I'll fly before I fail
I'll set sail and drift away
So I won't need you here
Love sinks and hope floats
In a river of tears
In a river of tears

I catch your scent in every wind
And I recall the love we had
I can't pretend that I don't miss you
Every now and then
But the hurt is for the better
Moving on, it's now or never
Lost in the tide, I can't keep my pillows dry
Like there's a sea in my eyes
I realize that sometimes love brings you flowers
Then it builds you coffins
And far too often
We end up falling to our demise

I'm going down, and you have watched me drown
In a river of tears, lost beneath the stream
Under the waves, I've found the strength to say
The river of tears has washed me clean
Go 'head and wish me well
I'll cry a wishing well
I'll fly before I fail
I'll set sail and drift away
So I won't need you here
Love sinks and hope floats
In a river of tears
In a river of tears

Cry me a river, build myself a bridge
I'm over this, can't let memories become the death of me
I'm glad to see everything that you are
And I believe that you are everything I needed
But I don't need no more"