Almost Over.

So according to my calculations, in the past two days I have attained a total of 9.5 hours of sleep.
Ohhh, is that why it feels like it's 3 in the morning? Well this explains everything.

No, I'm not complaining. For some reason staying up late studying for exams gives me this weird kind of adrenaline rush or something... Yes, I know I'm weird, you don't have to remind me.

So as you can tell, I'm pretty delirious right now. It's kind of funny. I am honestly so tired, but sleep is simply not an option. Not when my 9 AM exam depends on it!
Besides, tomorrow is my last exam, and then I am free forever and ever. No more stress, no more homework highs in the middle of the night, no more having to force feed myself a cappuccino. These last few days of sleep deprivation make it all worth it in the end. (hello there, Mr. GPA)

I should really get back to studying before I write something embarrassing...

Oh hey, the library is playing opera music. This is a first. I thought libraries were supposed to be quiet. Oh well, I'm secretly enjoying it. Why do I feel as if I'm making small-talk with myself? Why am I still here?!

To whoever is reading: enjoy your sleep. You know my jealously is flourishing like wildflowers as we speak...or I speak...whatever.

Smart Guy.

"Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves."

-Albert Einstein

Movies.

During my nineteen years of relishing in the gift of life, I have found there to be six types of movie watchers:

1) First, there's the "critic" movie watcher. This is my absolute LEAST favorite personality to watch a movie with. I mean, I'll be sitting there with them, trying to enjoy the movie, and with every line said, they'll barge in with "There's no way he'd still be alive after that, that's stupid!" or "If I guy ever said something like that to me, I'd barf." or "that was the fakest car crash I've ever seen." These people are THEE worst people to watch romance films with; it's like they enjoy crushing every love scene possible, along with your hopes and dreams.

2) Then there's the "clueless" movie watcher. This personality I don't mind as much as the first. Let's say you're both in the theatre, both seeing a movie for the very first time, and you're both very new to as to what this movie entails. Well, this personality is set on leaning in close towards you and asking questions every -give or take- 10 seconds: "Who is that?" or "What is he doing?" or "Why are they going there?!" or "Where are they taking her??" And if you're like me and choose to make the best of your selective hearing abilities and ignore their questions, it happens all over again, like a broken record: "Who is that??" and "What is he doing??!" and "Why are they going there?!!!!" and "Where are they taking her?!?!!????" It's funny because like I said, you've BOTH never even seen the movie before, so when all these questions are being bombarded at you, HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO ANSWER THEM?!

3) Thirdly, there's the "obvious" movie watcher; this one, I'll admit is definitely me. Ever heard of the saying, -in a sarcastic tone- "Yeah, thanks for that, Captain Obvious"? Well that saying is usually been directed at me. Like the label states, us "obvious" movie watchers are determined to point out everything that's obvious/clearly evident/manifest/transparent in a movie. Some popular lines are: "This is so cute" or "She looks amazing in that dress" or "Wow, that sky scraper is so tall" or "Did you see that look?! He's totally in love with her!!" We enjoy the satisfaction of knowing that our eyes and ears are up to par. And that maybe, just maybe, the person we're with DOES agree that indeed, Zac Efron sure knows how to wear jeans in High School Musical 3. (Just sayin')

4) Then there's the "obnoxiously loud" movie watchers. Now that I think of it, this personality is almost as low on my list of favorites beside the "critical" movie watcher. We have ALL experienced this one; You know the heavy-breathing, popcorn-bag rummaging, constant-sniffling, over-emphasized-almost-fake laughing, cell-phone clicking, off-tune singing, pepsi-can slurping, every-single-line reciting, completely-oblivious-to-their-surroundings kind of people who have you convinced their hearing-aids at a low minimum. It's like they're trying to create their own soundtrack for the movie or something.

5) Oh and you can't forget about the "prophet" movie watchers. The ones who would thrive at weather forecasting with a crystal ball in their hands. I swear that their number one goal on this earth is to predict every scene in the movie five seconds before it happens. Some actually prefer to pause the movie, grab your full attention, and lay out the whole plot before your eyes. (this has never happened to me, but I don't doubt its existence) The best is when their predictions deem correct, and a million "I TOLD YOU SO" 's stream from their mouth like vomit, along with some kind of a victory dance. It's like their life's integrity was just reached at that very moment.

6) And lastly, there's the "silent" movie watchers. These kind of people like to forget that you, along with the world, exist. I find that these movie personalities to be boring. Yes, I do get that you're trying to "escape from reality" by concentrating on the movie or something deep like that, but you're socially inept. It's easy to realize that these personalities clash with my "obvious" personalities. When I point out that I like the lush scenery in the movie, I like to be acknowledged with some feedback. I see movies as a chance to bond and connect; these people see movies as an opportunity to portray at me their finest glares.

There you have it, my six types of movie watchers. And there's no doubt in your mind that one of these is your kindred spirit, your child, your long lost twin, your womb-mate, your bosom buddy, ...your essence. Think long, think hard.

Lipstick.

Write a killer essay, write a killer essay, write a killer essay...

Tonight is my english exam, and for some reason I'm not even freaking out. Maybe because ever since I scored that A- on my English research paper, I feel like I have potential again in doing what I love. But the last thing I want to be is over confident--it likes to get me in trouble sometimes. But after tonight, I have THREE whole days until my next exam. What ever am I going to do?? Ha, just kidding. I have 3 exams to study for, plus a Fine Arts project to complete.

Last weekend was great. I finished reading a 300-page novel in less than two days, which is -don't laugh- pretty good for me. It was an amazing book too, called Obasan. I love the author's style of writing, all flowery and creative-like.

I also went to St. Arbucks with a few friends for a study sesh. (Starbucks, in case you didn't know) And to burn off that dreaded frappuccino, I've definitely starting working out again, which is a plus. Apparently nobody uses the women's gym at 8 in the morning...

The weather is b e a u t i f u l. It's terrible! Must it be so sunny when I'm in dire need to study?

I wore lipstick to the film festival the other day, it was fun.

Anyway, great things are happening. Well...except for the minor carpal tunnel that seems to be developing in my right wrist. I'm actually getting pretty paranoid already. Oh well,

Sighhh.

Remember when I wrote a few days ago that my stress levels were at a comfortable low? Well, I think I was kidding myself. I have been emotionally drained for the past four months and it never seems to end. I am exhausted. It's so sunny and beautiful outside, and yet I'm stuck inside here under the fluorescent lighting, writing useless sentences across useless pages. And just the thought of having to write five exams in the coming weeks is enough to make my hair fall out and for my teeth to grind to a minimum.

I'm going to go take a shower before the monster inside me is unleashed.

Good Morning, Sunshine.

Have you ever had one of those days where everyone just seems repulsed by you? The cashier refuses to give you a smile or look you in the eye, someone you know passes you on the sidewalk and never acknowledges your existence. You do all you can to give a bright smile, and with a twinkle in your eye you say "Hey! Good morning!" and stop in your tracks, itching for conversation, when all they do is say "...hi..." and practically hurdle past you.

All of these events build and build and build up until it makes me wonder if there's something wrong with me. I end up wasting time trying to identify all the factors that could make me a repulsive person.

I then tell myself: Jenn, don't make the Fundamental Attribution Error (thank you, Psychology 106); don't think that everyone has a personal disposition to despise you, while forgetting all the situational factors involved. It's 8 in the morning...and not everyone is a morning person like you.

Despite all of the half-asleep grumps, I love mornings! :)

God is Good, so Good.

Life has been pretty comfortable lately. Thanks to my late 3 AM nights and my on-going Facebook fast, I have been finishing all of my assignments on time, and the stress levels are now currently sitting at a low. I have only a few assignments left before exams roll around next week; one assignment left to do includes watching and comparing Oh Brother Where Art Thou with the Wizard Of Oz. (SWEET!)

Last Sunday was the most beautiful day. It was plus 15 with pure sunshine, so my friends pulled out the blankets and lay out on the grass for over 4 hours. I think I even got some color on me! I forgot how much I missed the sun. The rain is so frequent here that you're so used to running indoors at every opportune moment. The sun reminded me of how excited I am for summer: going for jogs in the blaring heat, laying on the beach, having campfires every evening...

Despite the lovely realization that summer is just around the corner, I really think that these next three weeks are going to be the hardest. I have to say so many goodbyes. I can't even describe how great some of the people here are. They have changed my life completely. It's weird not knowing the next time you're ever going to see some of these faces again; it's numbing. But the beauty of being in a relationship with Christ is having the confidence that we'll all see each other again one day in Heaven. If I keep this fine fact in mind, maybe the depression won't even sink in. Maybe goodbyes are just a part of life. And maybe God's plan is flawless.

So yes, these next few weeks will be trying, but I'm going to soak in every second of it. And the daily Gilmore Girls' marathons with my best friends don't hurt either. :)

Dreams.

I don't like dreams. You know those unpredictable, unstable, and delirious unconscious wishes you experience before you wake up in the morning? Yeah, I don't like those. They mess everything up. I went a good couple of days with only Homework and academic goals on my mind and nothing else, and then all of the sudden I wake up this morning COMPLETELY distracted. Now it's all I can think about.

Dreams are like those annoying voices in your head reminding you of all the things you want but you just can't have; and it takes days to rid that from your mind after.

Really, what's the point of dreaming? I don't need to use them as an escape from my reality. I don't need to constantly be poked and prodded at for what lies deep inside my heart. I would just like to believe that ignorance really is bliss.

Valentine's Day

"if you're ever with a girl that's too good for you, marry her."

I couldn't have said it better, Reed Bennett.

So, this is me in the library, obviously working on my Philosophy homework. ;)

Random Thoughts.

Tonight is a "random thought" kind of night, as is this blog entry...so here goes:

I've come to realize that contexts' can be very powerful. What do I mean by this? Well, if you ever want to get into a super deep conversation with me, just pull me into a hot tub. That's all you gotta do. After spending countless hours in my roommates' hot tub over the past few months, it's just what I've been noticing. A hot tub is like a warm, safe space. There's something about the cool outdoor air intertwining with the chlorine-infested fumes that just make trusting the person you're in there with, inevitable. (By the way, do not use this newfound knowledge to take advantage of me) Anyway, my roommate and I have the best talks in there. But who are we kidding? We have the best talks anywhere. I also don't like announcing her as my "roommate", because it just doesn't do her any justice, at all. She's so much more than someone I simply share a room with. I NEED to change the subject before I get all sappy, (she's totally gonna read this, haha). But in conclusion: I love her, soooo very much, and a mere blog entry could never describe how much I care about her!

So, I went to the art gallery today. It was definitely a let down. I mean, usually I'm pretty open minded to art and all it's glory, but this was just terrible. Everything was either too abstract, too amateur, or disgusting (I'd rather not see what a corpse' bodily fluids look like when sprinkled upon glass.) I want REAL art. I want to go to Italy and see the gaze up at the Sistine Chapel, or spend countless hours at the Louvre in France. Yes, I'm officially adding that to my To-Do list.

So, these next two weeks are going to be INSANE. Last night, amidst its deep and dark hours, I calculated that I have total of 13 assignments to complete in 9 days. (!!!) It's not like I've been slacking off or anything, it's just that all six of my classes seem to prefer to give out alot of homework at the same time. At first after I figured out the cruel 13:9 assignment ratio, I just couldn't comprehend it; I was like, "oh! This is my cue to die." UNTIL, I realized that I don't just have 9 days, in fact, I have 10 nights. I have 9 whole days and 10 whole nights to complete these assignments. Who needs sleep when you can just stay up late doing homework and writing blog entries?? NOT ME. Last night was the first night of my homework binge. I stayed up until 3 AM, and I even made my roomie change my facebook password so that I have zero access to it until these 9 days and 10 nights are over. Quite the strategy I have going on here, eh? And as for tonight, I'm planning on staying up as late as I need to in order to get some homework done. I am strong. I am motivated. And I am also thankful for chai tea lattes. By the time May rolls around, I know I'm going to be sick as a dog; I'm not naive when it comes to the consequences of enforced-insomnia. I'm also going to be fat. "I just don't have time to work out!!!" says the one who just watched two episodes of Gilmore Girls. Oh well, I'm still eating my vegetables, and taking my vitamins. It's gonna be rough folks, but my GPA will thank me for it! (hopefully)

Anyway, it's already 12:30 AM, so I'd better get started on homework. Here are some photos from the weekend:

Highways.

I just finished watching "The Last Song", a movie based on the Nicholas Sparks' book. And of course I bawled my eyes out. Apparently I'm the biggest sap ever. I NEVER used to cry during movies at the theatre, because I couldn't cry in front of people, but now I just let it all out. When did I become so emotional?

Every Nicholas Sparks movie just gets me: a Walk to Remember, Dear John, The Notebook, and now this one, The Last Song. Wow...
And the thing is that I don't cry during the love scenes, or about the relationship between the guy and the girl. I cry about the father with autism, the death that cancer brings, or when the son cries out of arguing with his sister.

Nicholas Sparks is such an amazing writer. His stories are just so real. I'm definitely adding all of his books to my summer reading list. I can't wait 'till summer. Honestly, after a long day at work, all I'm gonna do is read and watch movies. I cannot wait. I'm so tired of homework these days. I now know why University semesters only last a total of four months. I don't know how anybody could possibly take any more stress than this!

The house I'm in right now sits on a hillside, with an incredible view of farmland and snow-capped mountains. What's also in sight is the Trans-Canada Highway. I like to stare mindlessly at it, at the cars gliding along while passing the ever-so-intimidating semi trucks beside them. I like the contrast of the approaching yellow headlights with the vanishing vivid red tail-lights. I realized just now why I like this highway so much. It's because I know that as long as I stay within the lines, that highway will take me home, eventually. It's sort of a revelation to me; to suddenly realize that what's connecting me to home is simply, a long and winding road. How could I possibly feel lost when all I need to do is head east?

My favorite picture I took at the amazing John Mayer concert:

Ideal.

I've always told myself that things would be better next week, or next month, or next year, or when I'm in my 20s, ect.

I'm very much an idealist. I've always been dreaming that one day I'm going to wake up and miraculously be the person I've always wanted to be: confident, smart, known, beautiful, knows how to laugh at herself, has lots of friends, always says the right thing...

But that's not how it works. I can't be the person I am today, and then expect me to be my ideal, flawless self tomorrow. When you want something you have to work at it. The moment you know you want something is the moment you know you need to take action towards it.

To tell you the truth, I'm kind of scared to look at the future, or walk out my door, because I know that it's only going to get harder from here.

But I think people are right when they say to take it one day at a time; don't worry about tomorrow, since tomorrow has enough worries of its own, or something of the sort.

So here is one of the most encouraging Bible verses:

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11

If God already has it all planned out, then why worry?